Spanking...effective or not?

Destiny - posted on 07/17/2010 ( 135 moms have responded )

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I've been doing some psychology research on spanking and it's effectiveness but I'm wondering what real moms believe works. Please give your input.

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Rhonda - posted on 07/17/2010

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I was spanked, and thus spanked my kids while they were growing up. Since that time, I have cared for MANY children and have come to have a different view, based on alternative methods I have seen work.
I would NOT spank my kids if I could re-do it.
Instead, I would try re-directing them when they are very little.
As they grow older I would use simple words to tell them what I want them to do, rather than telling them simply not to do something.
I would have a time-out spot where the children could be alone safely (a high-chair works well for toddlers). I believe they should not be spoken to or interacted while they are in time out. (1 minute for each year-old they are.)
Before they would be allowed to leave the time-out area I would talk with them, asking them to repeat the lesson I want them to learn, such as, "Hitting hurts, I will use my words next time instead of hitting." Obviously, this will be something children will only be able to do when they are able to express their thoughts. With younger toddlers, practicing "nice touches" with the child they hit can be effective. You may have to do some role-playing, demonstrate, and help them with the action needed.
After the learning time is over, follow up with lots of affection, and reassurance that you know your child is going to make good choices because they are such a nice person.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/17/2010

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I definitely think that spanking, if done properly, is effective. If you use it is your one and only go-to discipline method, then no it is not going to work. But if you reserve a swat on the butt for really, really bad behaviour or situations where you mean business and you want your child to tune into that right away, I think it works wonders. I rarely ever spank my son, but on the occasions that I've done so he's been put in his place rather quickly.

I'm also a child psychology major and, as a mom, I don't think that all of the book stuff directly correlates with real life.

Minnie - posted on 07/17/2010

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Oh, I suppose that one can create a little robot that jumps everytime you command, but that's not my goal as a parent.

I choose to nurture a trusting relationship with my daughters, and to create compassionate free-thinkers. Our relationship is based on mutual respect.

[deleted account]

I would liket to clarify what spanking is. The definition of spanking is where a child is repeatedly hit/smacked on an area of their body (usually the bottom), ie the old idea of "put them over your knee and spank them". That is NOT effective as a punishment as it results in resentment and anguish.
Smacking on the other hand is a short sharp tap either on the bottom, leg or hand and that can be VERY effective in getting a point across especially when issues of danger are concerned. Children learn by example so if you are making a point using smacking (or spanking) then be very clear what your point is. Smacking your child for hitting his sibling sends a mixed message. Smacking your child's hand when they go to touch the hot oven teaches them that touching the oven will hurt without them actually getting burned.

Having said that though neither should EVER be done in anger. If you are hitting your child in anger then it will never be effective and it actually can technically be termed as abuse.

[deleted account]

Because it's a power thing. It's showing the child that "I'm bigger than you and you're in my power." and it's showing the parent that "I have more power than this child." And power corrupts.

There is no love or communication in that sort of power relationship.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Deanne - posted on 08/20/2011

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Spanking can be very effective. However, you should never be angry when doing it. The parent should be calm and explain the reason for the smack (butt only) first. And then only one or two swats. In my house, we have a book that list the daily schedule, chores, house rules and rewards/punishments for specific behaviors. If a rule is broken, we make the child (I have 6) look up the infraction. The only infractions that warrant corporal punishment are severe (such as intentional physical injury to a sibling or anyone). Otherwise, we usually take away priviledges and such.

Rose - posted on 07/24/2010

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I don't agree in spanking. I feel you are not teaching your children anything from it. Communications is a skill that needs to be taught. In this world we live in there are so many people that don't know how to communicate because they were never taught instead they were taught pyhsically. We as parents need to teach our kids how to communicate, respect and show affection to each other to be able to live a happy long life. Sorry but in the real world you need to communicate in order to get what you want you can't just spank someone to get what you want

User - posted on 07/24/2010

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There are some reasons to spank...when a child's behavior could put him in greater damage than would come from the psychological scar of a spanking....SPANK...for example ...running away in a parking lot

The bible tells us that foolishness is bound in the heart of child, but the rod of correction will drive it out.

I believe that spanking alone is an ineffective intervention. children must understand why they are being spanked.

Jennifer - posted on 07/23/2010

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I have tried both the time out method and a tap on the butt!! For me, neither of them work!! If i hit my child hits and does not understand why it is ok for me and not him. A time out has become a game of playing or singing! He will play with his clothes or toes or something! He is almost 4yrs old! He is struggling with the he is a child and i am the adult. I am trying the method of talking to him! It seems to hurt him more than a spanking or timeout

User - posted on 07/23/2010

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Nicky Suckling:

"I would liket to clarify what spanking is. The definition of spanking is where a child is repeatedly hit/smacked on an area of their body (usually the bottom), ie the old idea of "put them over your knee and spank them". That is NOT effective as a punishment as it results in resentment and anguish.
Smacking on the other hand is a short sharp tap either on the bottom, leg or hand and that can be VERY effective in getting a point across especially when issues of danger are concerned. Children learn by example so if you are making a point using smacking (or spanking) then be very clear what your point is. Smacking your child for hitting his sibling sends a mixed message. Smacking your child's hand when they go to touch the hot oven teaches them that touching the oven will hurt without them actually getting burned.

Having said that though neither should EVER be done in anger. If you are hitting your child in anger then it will never be effective and it actually can technically be termed as abuse."

THAT is the best advice I have read yet!

Jodi - posted on 07/23/2010

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Thanks for clarifying Cheryl, you have cleared that one up for me :) I agree that with some parents, there is a total lack of discipline altogether, and I believe that is where the problem lies :) Just my opinion. I think the true issue is that often parents don't have time for their kids (they work, juggle too many things, possibly through no fault of their own) and compensate for that by trying to be their friend, or refraining from any discipline because they feel guilty. I see that a bit amongst my son's peers.

Cheryl - posted on 07/23/2010

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I guess my last post was unclear and I apologize for that . . . I don't see intermediate students who are currently spanked . . . being in the elementary panel, teachers can generally get a sense of parenting styles based on how children behave in the primary years. Not always. Everyone is different. All I'm saying is that there is a lack of respect for authority within the school system that me and many of my colleagues have noticed over the past decade and I'm suggesting that perhaps this is due to the fact that some children ARE NOT spanked and spoken to, and given time outs . . . a variety of methods needs to be used and I feel if a certain child's actions warrant a spanking, than so be it.

I am no expert in knowing who is spanked and who isn't but I do make a sincere effort to talk with my parents and learn about what sort of discipline their child is use to. Hope this clarifies things a bit more.

Alyssa - posted on 07/23/2010

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Well I'm a real mom I carried my son for 9 months had a C Section and healed up. So I think I am a REAL MOM. I spank my son and he is a year old. He minds better than some 10 year olds. I dont believe in not spanking your child. I was spanked I turned out ok, my mom and dad and they turned out ok. I have never met a person that was never spanked that was a nice well behaved person, all the one I have met expect everything to be handed to them, and for no one to tell them no.

Shelly - posted on 07/23/2010

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I have spanked, but usually as a last resort. Putting my kids' nose to the wall for 1 minute is more effective. If that doesn't work they have to hold a penny to the wall with their nose. Rarely do I have to spank. My kids hate having to put their noses to the wall, so that's why it works for them...but every child is different. For me, this is time out for me.so, I don't lose my cool. I am not against spanking, just believe there are other methods that can be used first.

Jodi - posted on 07/23/2010

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Why is it that people think the decision not to spank is a decision not to discipline? Or that choosing not to spank means you are trying to be their friend?



Cheryl, how do you know which students get spanked and which don't? I am curious.....because I never spank my son (who is now almost 13, he has been spanked a couple of times when he was around 4 or 5, but never since because I choose to deal with it in other ways), and all I ever hear from his teachers is how polite and respectful he is in class and what a pleasure he is to teach! And that's the type of kid he is.



And just for the record, I was spanked as a child, and so many of my friends were too (and there were others who didn't) and I just remember that intermediate level (mid-teens, I assume you are talking about), have a lot of attitude regardless. They grow out of it.

Cheryl - posted on 07/23/2010

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Well said. I'm an educator at the intermediate level where attitude reigns supreme. There is a very large discrepancy between the students whose parents used spanking in an effective manner and those who chose not to . . . generally speaking, students who have never been spanked in earlier years question authority more frequently than those who were spanked and sent to time out among other methods. I think it's a need to find a healthy balance early on because later on in their lives they need to know that you are their parent and not just their friend.

User - posted on 07/23/2010

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Definitely effective! However, there is a MAJOR difference between spanking and beating. Don't confuse the two.

Ali - posted on 07/23/2010

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I Don't Think It Does, Apart From Hurting The Child It Could Also Have A Bad Effect On The Childs Behaiour, Such As Fear Or Feeling Later On In Life Too x

Felicia - posted on 07/22/2010

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My kids are 2 and 3 i spank them on their butts if they misbehave...I feel it does work they know they don't like spankings so they don't misbehave. spanking is always my last option I prefer time out first. you put them in time out based upon their age 3 yrs get 3 mins 2yrs get 2 mins...

Theresa - posted on 07/22/2010

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I was spanked when I was little, did it do good? Yes do I spank my children? yes I belive it does have an affect on children along with a talk. I Learned to not repeat some bad choices after getting a spanking. I also didn't get a spanking for every little thing I done, the spankings were left for the bigger things the ones where my mother would say "you just wait till your father gets home". I do believe there is a difference between spanking and beating a child. I am healthy, happy wife, mother, woman. I love respect and honor my parents for all they done for the six of us, growing up poor with parents who worked plus keep all hands on deck at the house helped. I belive whatever plan of discipline you choose and stick with what you say and how you follow through makes a big difference.

Nancy - posted on 07/22/2010

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I totallly agree with what you say. Some kids respond to your tone of voice and some don't. For some a swat on the bottom gets their attention and they will remember it and are less likely to repeat as they remember the swat. Your right, every child is different

Nancy - posted on 07/22/2010

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I believe in spanking. I don't believe in beating and there is a definite difference. One or two swats on the bottom does not constitute a beating and is very effective. All my kids thanked me when they grew up for spanking them when they needed it. My son told me it didn't hurt me it helped me and I am proud to say I have three very responsible, law abiding children who are in turn very good parents.

Karena - posted on 07/22/2010

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SOS: Help for parents by Lynn Clark phd...this is an amazingly easy read. Will take just a few hours to read and if you implement the tools as directed/instructed you and your child will go far. Don't rule your child..be a team and take on life. Time outs are the worst for children...to have to sit down and still, it's horrible for them...there are ways to do it....teaches you to discipline yourself...calm down...and time out.

Karena - posted on 07/22/2010

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Putting ur hands on someone else is abuse...adults get arrested for it everyday...domestic violence. Ur little girls and dear sons will learn to accept abuse in any relationship and give it...to what degree is the only unknown... ask your pediatrician about spanking.

Alex - posted on 07/22/2010

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I try to not use the spanking, we use time outs and taking Favorite toy away or favorite TV show. Spanking is our last resource,my son is just three years old and has a realy high energy level. Time outs not always work because he wont sit down. so we give him the option of time,than he will sit down for a minit or two to calm down. I got spanked to as a kid and i try realy hard not to do it to my kid. I think its wrong,but that is just my opinion.

Erica - posted on 07/22/2010

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no it does not work at you i have learned over the years with my girls you take something away they really like and believe me it will work ..

Sherri - posted on 07/22/2010

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Karena I spank 1 has never turned into two and I have never spanked anywhere but the butt or a slap on the hand. If anyone asks I certainly tell yes I spank my kids. If they have a problem with it too bad. Only one of my friends ever had a problem with it and dared say something to me. Due to different parenting styles and there kids are monsters I decided to part ways with them. I have heard many complaints from the neighbors about there kids.

Megan my state allows spanking!!!

Karena - posted on 07/22/2010

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For all purposes, including research...to all...Keep your hands off your children and anyone elses. Keep your hands to yourself. I don't know how else to say it. You do it to your child and in turn they will do it to others or even their children in the future. Don't make your child a victim. There are no boundries...one spank turns into two, a little harder, in the face...where does it stop? Someone asks you...what are you going to say...im hitting my kids...no difference between spanking and hitting annd beating and abusing...NO NO NO.. Time outs are effective annd efficient and can be used anywhere. Read SOS for parents...whole book on time outs and the structure of in the whole family!!!

[deleted account]

With my 1st son I never needed to spank.
With my daughter, it was frequent, but only for safety issues. That didn't work at all. She would just grit her teeth and do it again (very strong-willed).
Years later with my twins, I just removed them from the situation or channel them.
I learned to use natural consequences. If they throw the spoon, they didn't get it back. If they hit, they had a time out. If they bit, no playing with others.
As they got older, I had to think about it a bit more.
If they rode their bike without a helmet, no bike... If they were out past curfew, they needed to be in an hour earlier than curfew. If they didn't do as I asked, when they wanted something from me, I'd just say 'Not this time' & remind them of my earlier request., and so on.

Spanking just teaches violence. There are so many alternatives.

Kate - posted on 07/22/2010

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seems like everyone has a different definition of what "effective" means here...

Smack/spank/ whatever you want to call it "IS" going to be "effective" in stopping a child, or getting them to realise you are unhappy... but so will a sharp "NO" or "STOP" it gives them a shock and they stop what they are doing.
Smack or spank is not necessary - but it can work. So it just depends on what you believe, and what you want to teach your child.

Seems like it's WAY too much of a controversial discussion to bring up - it's like abortion and politics - everyone has a strong opinion about it.

lets all just agree to disagree.

[deleted account]

Cecily, what a brilliant ad campaign....."I was spanked and I'm NOT fine!"......I love it! I can see it on a billboard for sure!

Again, anyone interested in "Positive Behavior Strategies", otherwise known as, PBS please follow the link I've provided and join our community. We'd LOVE to have you!

http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13391?tr...

Cecily - posted on 07/21/2010

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i was spanked and im not fine.... i have a 7 month old and i dont believe that i will ever spank him. i know how i feel and i will openly admit that it did have an effect on me and my emotional/mental well being. it may just be me, but i dont like the idea of spankings at all.

Megan - posted on 07/21/2010

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Angela.... wow not going to parties, no drugs,no alcohol... hmm spanking your child does not stop any of that... spanking didn't stop me from any of that. i stopped willingly when i got pregnant and had my daughter. kids experiment that's just what they do. The state of California has some messed up rules.. why would a state allow anyone to spank a child?????

BRiTTANY - posted on 07/21/2010

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- i honestly dont know if its effective . . its confusing . because i can pop him and it wont phase him but when his daddy pops him it is the end of the world for him lol . so i have no idea .

Leslie - posted on 07/21/2010

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I have used spanking in the same manner that my parents did raising me. It works but should be limited to situations in which the child has been warned beforehand and should not be used very often. (For example, the running in the street comment earlier is a good example of when a spanking may be necessary.) I have also found that it is of utmost importance to give the child a few minutes of cuddles after the spanking (which I have always kept limited to one or two swats on the rear) and explain to the child why the spanking was given and what could have happened if the child was allowed to continue behaving in the manner that called for the spanking in the first place.

Becky - posted on 07/21/2010

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Spanking when done right is very effective. A proper spanking is not abusive. It teaches children that there is a consiquence (sp?) for their actions. And if done right is rarely needed. Unfortunately these days, even a smack on the rear is looked down upon. I truly believe this is one of the major reasons why our prisons are so full. Children are not taught right from wrong. Their not taught to simply to do as mom or dad says becouse they say so. Its also horable that there are parents out there that have no right to be parents and the children pay for it wether they are victims or simply victims of good parents afraid to disipline. My children were spanked when needed. I have children that love and respect me and often ask my opinion on dealing with thier children. I just say that spanking with love and care shows our children that they are important to us.

Tracey - posted on 07/21/2010

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I see a lot of out of control children out there and the reason they are so out of control is probably because they are not spanked occasionaly on the butt. Sorry, but sometimes you just cannot reason with a 4 year old and a little tap on the butt never hurt anyone.

Denise - posted on 07/21/2010

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I depends on the child. It worked on me, but not so much some of my other sisters! My oldest,all we had to do was frown and snap our fingers and she was in a puddle and needed little further correction, spanking was very rare but quite effective.
The youngest on the other hand was different. And we went through several variations of discipline before we landed on what worked (most of the time). Spanking had no positive effect on her.
All kids are different. With one you might just have to spank them (NOT BEAT them) once or twice so that they know you are serious and never have to it again. Others you could spank til your face turned blue and it would have no effect one way or the other!

[deleted account]

Being fine or "turning out ok" is SUBJECTIVE! YOU think you're ok.....others may disagree! I'm sick of hearing people say that....it's NOT a good arguement FOR spanking.....it actually does quite the opposite for me. When someone says, "I was spanked and I turned out fine" it just reinforces why spanking is SO ineffective.

Penny - posted on 07/21/2010

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I think it totally depends on the child and the circumstances, children with defiant behavior are difficult to deal with and so simple time outs probably don't work, and they need to know who's boss for their own benefit.On the other hand there are very passive children who have no behavior issues and just trust in what their parents commands are,when they do challenge, it usually is far in few between,so talking to them or explaining situations to them should work.

[deleted account]

Hmm, yeah, I am FINE, and I was spanked. Every kid that I know of that has been spanked that are now adults are FINE, and my niece says she was thankful for being spanked, she has openly said that it helped her in life. My cousins, the same thing, most have grown up and told their parents "thank-you for being consistent and spanking us"

I do think one of the major factors here are age. Taking away priveledges once they have priveledges to take away are good. As my children get older, will not need to spank them much either. My daughter is JUST NOW getting priveledges that we are able to take away. She is 4, and so now understands more on losing privileges, and how upsetting it is. So VERY rarely does it call for a spanking. Some of you have older kids that are more involved in things, have Wii that you can take away. My daughter has had dance class, tv, and toys to take away, none of which were effective in taking away. Only took away dance once, cause that is something I want her to have, I feel if I take away all activities, she will never get exercise and learn commitment to her class, and it doesn't only effect her, but effects the other girls she has to dance with, for e.g. if a child is in a sport, they lose that, and it hurts the whole team. So to me that is a hard one. I did not realize that in some countries it is illegal to spank children, but where I am at, it is not illegal, but meant to use as a last resort, which is what I do. But the word violence did bother me, cause like I said before, I would NEVER violate my daughter. I NEVER spank in a place that she is humiliated. It is somewhere, I can sit down and tell her why, and explain why she is getting in trouble. So I do apologize if I went off on people, but really, life does get more as they get older, and easier to discipline in another way. But to sit my daughter in the corner, or time out, does NOT work for her some of the time. If she has company, and wants to play with them. VERY effective, but if no one is here, she doesn't care, she would act up regardless of whether she had to do that or not. Anyways, not quite sure where I was going with this, other than knowing that once she gets to the age of school, and has more extra curricular activities, or is allowed to play video games, will be more effective to take those away vs, spanking, but right now, going without tv does not bother her. I even tried packing up a box of toys everytime she had a MAJOR fit, until she had no more toys in her room. She had bed, empty shelf, she didn't care, she just danced in the room, and kept up the MAJOR fits, did not phase her, and fits would last up to 45 minutes long, screaming at the top of her lungs, After a spanking when the fits started like that, was done in less than 10 minutes. so for me, felt I had no other choice, could not allow her to act the way she was. Either way, I hope that once these tantrums stop, the spanking will be able to stop. But when she would start up, and go for 45 min to an hour, would disrupt the whole house, their was NO peace, after starting the spankings, we do have peace in our house, I know that sounds wrong, but is what had to work for us. My kids are well behaved overall, but we did go through that spell, where these tantrums with my daughter happened once a day or sometimes twice a day. Was a VERY hard time, but with spanking her when nothing else worked, she has calmed down, and now can reason with her fairly easy.

JAVENIA - posted on 07/21/2010

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i believe in a small spanking nothing that would really hurt them. use it effectively like when you are punishing for something that could get them hurt or killed. like if the tried to cross the street, or trying to jump out a window. you get it. there are times when a spanking is usefull.

Becky - posted on 07/21/2010

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My daughter is 8. Occasionally I have spanked her over the years, but only as a extreme last resort when all other things failed (including calling Grandma and having Grandma talk to her!). I've not had to resort to that in more than 2 or 3 years. Over all I ended up at that last resort may be 3 times in her life. Now the sassy attitude is mostly leveraged against hanging out with her friends. Or we make her do extra chores around the house. That seems to work pretty well now. She's one who easily gets distracted and forgets things so we've found immediate consequences for this works better than the 10000 times reminding. For example, she forgets to flush the toilet, she has to clean the bathroom, she leaves her shoes in the middle of the room, she has to clean that room. doesn't put her dishes in the kitchen or leaves food out she had to clean up the kitchen and wash dishes. And right at the moment you find the infraction is when she has to get started. Years of trying to get her to remember the small things failed me, but this has started working for us with in a matter of weeks and she understands why she has to clean up and is rarely bitter about it.

[deleted account]

"..deep down I knew I was a bad child and they made me into a responsible and respectful adult."

This is so sad. NO child is a bad child!

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2010

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Angela, in some countries it is actually illegal. I'm not trying to tell you that you are wrong, whatever floats your boat, and IMO, whatever works for you - personally, I have found it unnecessary and my children are generally pretty well behaved (like all kids, they still do things they shouldn't, but not anything major) and my son has managed to make it to almost 13 with school reports about how polite and attentive he is, and what a pleasure to teach, etc.



Anyway, my point is that whether it is violence or not is a matter of opinion too. That's one of the reasons it is illegal in some countries.



With regard to your friend, if her children are behaving like that it is to do with her methods of discipline, not just the lack of spanking. Do the children get rewarded for good behaviour? I've always found that knowing my children's currency is my best tool....I use this information for rewards. For instance, my 5 year old couldn't care if she loses TV privileges, but she loves having a friend over to play, so good behaviour is rewarded with arranging a play date with a friend. My almost 13 year old enjoys playing the Wii, so his good behaviour is rewarded with some game time. He also likes to have a later bedtime, so sometimes, he is rewarded by being allowed to stay up an extra 1/2 hour..... but if he misbehaves, he may be sent to bed early, or he will have to do extra chores, etc. Honestly, it does work!!



I'm not saying you or she should raise their kids in any particular way, it is your choice, but I am just saying that choosing not to spank does not mean unruly and undisciplined children :)



And just for the record, I HAVE spanked my children (I could count how often on one hand), and it really is not as effective as other methods for my children.

[deleted account]

ok, so here is something for you ladies that I don't understand......if you think JUST standing them in the coner or a time out works all the time, and spankings aren't necessary. Then I ask you this.....how come my friend does not pank her children, and her sons try to hurt each other all the time, middle one decides he is old enough to leave the yard by himself, they talk back, they have no respect whatsoever, so what would your advice be? All priveledges have been taken away, groundings, corner, time out, and yet, none of those are working, so does she lose her kids to the world, or does she find something harsher that works. A spanking is just enforcing a bit of the same thing that natural discipline does. You tell your child, don't touch that it is hot, they touch it and they get burned, it is painful. Humans do learn from a slight bit of painful stimuli, does not mean they are beaten, does not mean that those of us that choose to spank our kids are outcasts and should all rot in prison. it is a way, a choice of how we, as families have decided to raise our children, but because we give our opinions same as you, we get knocked down, cause we use "violence" and it is "unnecessary" In YOUR opnions, not in mine, so to state your opinion is one thing, and if you choose not to spank, I don't look down on you for you parenting skills, that is what you have chosen, so let those of us who choose to spank have the freedom to say it without getting slashed. I ( my opniion) think it is more hurtful to let a child get away with something that could end in death or major harm than to spank the most cushiony part of the body, the buttocks. Also, if it was considered, "violence", it would not be allowed even "by law" to sapank your child one time with an open hand once daily. If that is a law, does not mean it is violence, because justice would not allow for violence to be an intentional thing. So, I just think (again my opinion), some of you ladies write on her as if you are the only ones that have the answers. I don't feel that is the case, and maybe should be re-worded, in my opinion, or my beliefs, or I disagree, not some of the downgrading things you have to say to try and get your point across. sorry if I offended everyone, but time and time again, saw people that were knocking other parents down for THEIR decision in child rearing. Seems to me that is a choice we all received when we delivered our children.

Sandra - posted on 07/21/2010

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spanking os smacking is sooo totally unecessary! my children are adults now and they never had to to smacked.. if a parent has to resort to violence to control a child then they need to examine their parenting skills.. if an adult smacked an adult for stepping out of line it would be seen as abuse, so whats the difference, violence begets violence.. dont teach your innocents that pain is how we get things done.

Lois - posted on 07/20/2010

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Spanking is such a hot-button subject! I only found that it was an emergency responce when a child has put themselves or someone else in danger ( a smack on the butt after stopping a child from running into trafic or grabbing something that they would hurt themselves with like an electric outlet) Other than that,it has no use at all time-out (either send them to their room or to a corner ) works much better.

Comeiko - posted on 07/20/2010

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No, I was bad, I did any and everything I was big enough to do. I didn't do things to show-off, it was more because I was the youngest of 3 girls, the oldest is 8yrs older than me and the middle one is 2 1/2 yrs older than me. I just didn't understand why I couldn't be like them, and do what they did, or go places they went with their friends or hung out past the time when the "street lights" came on. However when I reached high school more was expected of me at home and in school which with the help of discipline on my parents part helped me calm down. I realized that I was going to be an adult soon and if I continued to be the way I was I would never make it life. So YES I thank my parents for continuing to discipline me even when it didn't work, because had they stop I probbaly would have thought they didn't care what happend to me.

"SO, AGAIN EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT AND RESPONDS TO DISCIPLINE DIFFERENTLY!"

Minnie - posted on 07/20/2010

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Lisbeth: A Pearlite is someone who follows Michael Pearl, author of To Train Up a Child (basically child abuse 101).



James Dobson is a 'Christian psychologist,' author of The Strong-Willed Child (he boasts how he whips his dachsund with his belt to show the dog who's in charge).

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