Spankings

Lena - posted on 12/02/2017 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I wanted to get some opinions about a somewhat maybe unusual question. You see, i have a husband who will spank me when needed. And befor you say anything, dont, i used to belive it was totally nuts too. But its actually saved our marrige, as we have 4 children and they are all a handful!

Anyway, the other day we had to give our 11 year old a spanking. She had been shoplifting with here friends and i recived a call from the mall telling me they caught her. In addittion to a really hard spanking she is grounded and we took away her phone and computer. But that night my husband gave me a severe spanking too, since i am a stay at home mom and my "job" is to make sure the children behave.

Now i agree that my husband is the head of the household and can indeed spank me when i deserve it, but in this case i think it was unfair. He was mad at me because OUR daughter was stealing, and gave me a really really severe spanking. But i feel i do my very best, at some point the children will missbehave anyway and have to take the consequences. But they are there own person, and i dont feel i could have done anything different. I was just as shocked as he to find out about our girl....

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Carol - posted on 12/03/2017

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Any man coming near me would need extremely good medical insurance or must have a death wish so a good life insurance would be useful also

Janice A - posted on 12/03/2017

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Lena,

I'm afraid that I must agree with Janice. The OTHER Janice.

"Now I agree that my husband is the head of the household, and can indeed spank me when I deserve it."

Who actually DECIDES whether a spanking is "deserved" or not? The way I understand it, usually the person GIVING the spanking is the one who decides. Not the one RECEIVING it.

Either your husband CAN spank you, or he CAN'T. Which is it?

Does your 11-year-old daughter get to decide which spankings she did or did not "deserve?"

In the Navy, a ship's captain can be charged with dereliction of duty if his crew makes a mistake.

See this article from the Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2017/11/01/multiple-failures-by-sailors-standing-watch-contributed-to-deadly-navy-collisions-investigation-finds/
washingtonpost.com/news/checkpoint/wp/2017/11/01/multiple-failures-by-sailors-standing-watch-contributed-to-deadly-navy-collisions-investigation-finds/

"The collisions shocked the Navy, which prides itself on good seamanship. In the last few months, the service has removed numerous people from their jobs as a result, including the senior officer in charge of the Navy’s 7th Fleet, to which both ships were assigned."

You DO know WHY your husband spanked you.

I would say that the 11-year-old girl should apologize to her parents for shoplifting, and the wife should apologize to her husband for having a bad attitude.

The same would apply if it was the other way around.

If the husband agreed that his wife is the head of the household, and that she can spank him whenever he needs it, then he would owe her an apology for that kind of bad attitude.

At least, if I had a husband who agreed that I could spank him, I would be demanding more respect from him than you are giving to your husband.

Janice - posted on 12/02/2017

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I can understand why you may feel a bit aggreived, but he has a point. You accept that it is your job to make sure the children behave, so surely you have failed big time on this occasion. As spanking is part of your relationship anyway, the punishment is, on balance, fair in my view

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Janice A - posted on 12/04/2017

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Different strokes for different folks.

"This whole lifestyle makes no sense to me."

I'll bet this is not the ONLY lifestyle that makes no sense to you.

When you really get down to it, the bottom line is that NOTHING that anyone does really makes much sense to anyone else.

What doesn't make sense to ME is to say, "You can spank me anytime YOU think I need it, except on that one rare occasion when I disagree with your reasons."

Sarah - posted on 12/04/2017

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This whole lifestyle makes no sense to me...a man can act as head of household without ever needing to strike anybody anytime. In this house, we are a team, we parent and manage our children together and thus far; evidence shows we have made the right choice as all four of our kids are obedient, respectful and compliant with household and community law

Janice A - posted on 12/03/2017

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Presumably, the husband has to "pay the cost to be the boss," if he is the breadwinner.

The law doesn't hold the parents blameless. The wife's argument is what? That BOTH parents deserve EQUAL blame, or that NEITHER parent deserves blame?

But like I say, if the situation were reversed, let the wife spank the husband. She agreed to the rules, and even STILL agrees.

I am not saying that husbands should spank wives, if they haven't agreed to it. But the agreement could just as easily go the other way.

No "bias" here.

Sarah - posted on 12/03/2017

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Unless it's part of your private sex life. I suppose that would be the only consideration I would make for a man spanking his wife

Ev - posted on 12/03/2017

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I agree with the others. Spanking a spouse is abuse plain and simple. Besides both of you are responsible for the discipline for the kids behavior not just you because you are a stay at home mother. That is an excuse.

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2017

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I agree, your home is like a house with a bully and five kids. You are his partner, not his equal; and you have allowed it to become that way. He abused your child, but she hears you getting abused regularly so why would she protest? Spanking another adult IMO is absurd and that is not what saved your marriage. You're willingness to let him do what he wants to you whenever, give the appearance of a peaceful and harmonious home; when in reality you have anything but that.

Michelle - posted on 12/02/2017

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I don't believe anyone should get spanked and I also don't believe that letting your husband dominate you saved your marriage. You just accepted everything and will do what he wants, that's not saving your marriage.
It's up to you but with what you've written, you won't be able to convince your husband that you may be right so you have to live with the life you have chosen. That is allowing a man to dominate and treat you like a child.

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