Split parenting

Holly - posted on 09/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




How do I communicate with my daughters father on how to deal with her tantrums together? I have done this in the past but the tantrums seem to be getting worse...at times I'm the one who gets blamed to be " the bad parent"


Chet - posted on 09/17/2014




How old is your daughter?

Communication between you and your daughter's father needs to be about your daughter, not about placing blame. It's very unlikely that one person's parenting is causing the tantrums.

Kids have tantrums when they are tired, hungry, overstimulated or overwhelmed in some way. Normally, the key to curtailing tantrums is understanding your child's triggers and managing the environment so you don't put your child in a situation they can't cope with. And when a tantrum happens you need to focus on understanding your child not blaming the other parent.

That means that you and dad share information that will help both of you to know what your daughter needs... what winds her up and what calms her down. Conversations with dad don't place blame, and don't tell him what he must do, so much as are and exchange of information.

It's also possible that the shared parenting places additional stress on your daughter, and that some difficult stages could be slightly more difficult for her. Kids are completely capable of adapting to more than one environment though (even very young children can operate with different rules and routines at home and at daycare) so although consistently between parents is ideal for certain things, it's not essential.

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