Spoiling your husband?

Jaime - posted on 03/24/2011 ( 35 moms have responded )

59

19

3

I am a new STAY AT HOME wife, but even when I did work I would always make my husband foods, bring it to him, clean the house, laundry, etc...We were at a family function and I basically got looked at like I was crazy for asking him what he wanted to eat so I could make it for him. He is the man of the house and especially because im at home all day I like doing those things for him. Does anyone else have this problem with family members?

35 Comments

View replies by

Carole - posted on 04/18/2012

45

0

2

Those break-n-bake chocolate chip cookies go a LONG LONG LONG way in our house; I can't count the number of things that my husband does just bc he gets cookies whenever he asks... I say if you don't mind and it makes him happy, it WILL pay off to "spoil" a husband a little whether you are a SAHM or not! Happy wife, happy life works the other way too, just doesn't rhyme as well :)

Shirley - posted on 03/27/2011

16

0

1

I think the problems start when you go back to work and you are still doing all the jobs and raising your kids, a lot of my friends feel like single parents as their other halves wouldnt dream of taing the kids to bed or arranging their clothes for in the morning. I used to enjoy looking after my "man" until i went back to work and then i felt like a beast of burden. I also found that being at work all day was actually easier than being at home with a young child and trying to juggle all the different things you have to to and have tea on the table on time. I loved my time at home with my daughter and would do it again but i would make sure that i did it differently.

Medic - posted on 03/26/2011

3,922

19

552

There are TONS of things to do in Germany( my husband was army for 7 years) at first we just walked around and took in the AMAZING sights. We traveled to different countries that were around. It was really nice and relaxing. I am 100% German so it was awesome to see where I came from. (I was the first born here in America)

Stifler's - posted on 03/26/2011

15,141

154

604

I do that sometimes. If I'm up getting food I'll bring him back the good stuff I know he likes before it's all gone, because we're best friends and he does it for me too! I make him drinks when he comes home from work, I always did even before we had kids and both worked.

Christel - posted on 03/26/2011

91

13

0

I am always asking my husband what he would love to eat for dinner I call him up everyday to ask what I am making is ok or if he wants something else! Because He always is asking me what I would love the eat for dinner or he will pick up something for me by surprise!

Lissa - posted on 03/25/2011

1,047

0

105

Different strokes for different folks!!
If you are happy then ignore others, in my opinion it's neither right or wrong, it's just what works for you. We all manage our families differently, for instance in mine my husband is completely anal about ironing so he does it, I cannot stand the way he folds clothes (he does it all wrong lol) so that's my job. If you are doing this because YOU want to then don't feel you have to justify your position to anyone.

Mabel - posted on 03/25/2011

785

60

33

yes my husband also makes my plate if I am getting the kid plate.I don't ask he just does it and he also helps with the house and other things I can't do .=)

September - posted on 03/25/2011

5,233

15

695

If I were a stay at home Mom/Wife, I would do the cooking, cleaning and so on, but I'm not. So we share the responsibilities although I do all the cooking since my husband pretty much sucks at cooking, however he is opening to learning how, so maybe I need to get on that! My husband is also pretty anal when it comes to house hold chores so often times he does more around the house than I do and I'm completely fine with that! :)

Julieann - posted on 03/25/2011

18

0

1

Just keep repeating this mantra "It works for us and it makes up happy" over and over, in front of her. Just kidding of course. But maybe it would sink into her head to butt out. Good luck!

Jaime - posted on 03/25/2011

59

19

3

No they see that he does things for me and our baby as well. My MIL is high maintance and is used to not doing anything in her relationship. I tell her I love doing it for him and he does for me too. She just doesnt think a woman needs to do anything, and the husband should do it all.

Julieann - posted on 03/25/2011

18

0

1

Do they feel like he doesn't reciprocate in some way to you? Otherwise, maybe you could explain to them, that this works for the two of you and makes you both happy. That's what matters. While they might have a different system in their marriage and you respect that and wouldn't criticize their way, so could they please not criticize yours?

Jaime - posted on 03/25/2011

59

19

3

that seems to be how it is with us too..we are happy with it but family keeps saying very hurtful and negitive things..lol its to the point now where we hardly see them because of it.

Julieann - posted on 03/25/2011

18

0

1

If you two are both happy with how you're doing things please don't listen to anyone else! My husband and I were happy with our ways, until his family kept putting thier 2 cents in and kind of wrecked a good arrangement that we had. We never got the balance back after that.

Carolyn - posted on 03/25/2011

898

19

140

yeah um no.. While on mat leave, i have taken over the bulk of house cleaning ( floors, laundry, dusting, bathrooms, dishes that dont fit in the dishwasher) I cook 5 nights out of the week, otherwise we wouldnt eat till 7pm if he did. His plate is only made for him if i make both of our plates at the same time, and he can come and get it.

I dont put his clothes away, hell i barely fold them. He is expected to clean up after himself, and help when requested. And if the baby throws food on the floor , he can also sweep it.

We married young, and my husband is 3 years younger than I , I am the first person he has lived with and had been living at home when we met. I have had to show him alot of the ropes of living independantly and being responsible and managing your work, home and family. Spoiling him now is not going to help him adjust when i go back to work.

When i go back to work, its going to be a 50/ 50 split. Should be interesting to see what happens LOL.

[deleted account]

We are both working parents, well over 40+ hours a week. But, we are also equal partners. I can't say that I spoil him any more or less than he spoils me. We both work hard, and we both have our roles in the home as well as with parenting.

Jaime - posted on 03/25/2011

59

19

3

im so glad im not the only one who does this lol..i feel like because i am at home it shouldnt be a problem for me to do it..but at the same time its usually he will cook on the weekends (he wanted me to put that in there lol) hes a great griller so the weekends i kind of have the day off. Sunday we help eachother clean and get ready for the week. But like i said hes in the army and hes got so much to do in the military that he shouldnt have to worry about the housework thats my job!

Tina - posted on 03/25/2011

61

1

13

We both have times when we spoil each other. I am prego now so I am the one who is being spoiled on and off because sometimes I need my own space. This would normal be my time to take care of him since he is working 12 hr days.
The unspoken rule around here is if one cooks the other helps with the cleaning up after a meal type thing.
My husbands family at first did not think that I did enough for him. I was in school full-time and going to work part time. At the time my hubby would have to go out of town a lot and I would start the laundry and tell him where the things were that he needed for his trip and he would pack himself. To his family I was to do all of it his laundry and pack for him on top of work and school. I am a wife not super women. Well anyways If I had the time I would have done it for him. I do Love him that much and I would do anything for him. At the same time he is an adult and can take care of himself.I don't see a problem with spoiling your hubby as long as every once in a while it comes back in some way shape or form. a relationship is a 2 way street as long as the 2 of you are happy then who the hell cares.

Audrey - posted on 03/24/2011

143

29

11

i usually make my husbands plate at home but not always when we are at family functions. the kids always get their food first in our family though. my husbands family is the opposite so im glad he doesnt think that way. his family makes the kids eat whatever the adults dont get on their first pass.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 03/24/2011

4,455

6

402

I do the same for my man, im a sham as well, it’s a nice thing they like, as long as its not forced, and I see its not.

Sabra - posted on 03/24/2011

180

3

33

I do the same thing. I think that he shouldn't have to do all that stuff. His job makes money and mine maintains the house. He is more than willing to help but like everyone else here said i enjoy doing it for him (plus I'm kind of a if you want it done right do it yourself kind of person)
I do kind of have my family think I'm strange because its not really how I was raised. My mom thinks he should help out more but I like things how they are so i just shrug it off.

Krystal - posted on 03/24/2011

76

46

5

Mine's gone 4 days at a time and basically eats TV dinners the entire time, so he gets spoiled when he comes home. I love watching him relax for the little bit that he's home. I'm pregnant now though so he's getting a little less spoiled and taking care of me some. It's a partnership.

Lisa De - posted on 03/24/2011

0

27

1

Yes but I believe that you are suppose to spoil you husband. Because once your kids leave your husband is the one constant in your life and why not treat them like gold! they do deserve it!!

Jaime - posted on 03/24/2011

59

19

3

yea my husband is in the army so he is out for period of time with sometimes no sleep so thats part of the reason i do it...other part is i just love him like crazy and i dont mind lol! @jennifer what is there to do in germany?

Krystal - posted on 03/24/2011

76

46

5

I do that for my husband too, I like to take care of him. There isn't really anything wrong with it, as long as it isn't him demanding that you wait on him hand and foot, which isn't at all what you're talking about. My husband will cook and clean and everything for himself, but I do it for him because I like to. I would say he's very spoiled, but I'm the one doing it and if I don't mind then no one else should either. I will also say that my husband is in the Air Force so he isn't home but half the week so when he is home he relaxes and I take care of him.

Jaime - posted on 03/24/2011

59

19

3

oh heck i dont complain when he does lol we are going to be joining him in germany shortly and hes like oh babe i wanna take you to paris and do this and do that for you and im like oh ok yea whatever you want to do babe lol

Medic - posted on 03/24/2011

3,922

19

552

I am adopted but my dad is from Spain and that is how my grandpa and apparently great grandpa and so on and so on. I kind of like being treated like a princess( and I wont argue if he wants to) haha.

Jaime - posted on 03/24/2011

59

19

3

yea i guess it is how we were raised our family is a puerto rican family so how we worked is we took care of our men. but my husband and i are partners its not i stand behind him we stand by eachother.he actually takes care of our daughter when he comes home lol my mommy duties end when he comes home lol and thats how he likes it! so i let him go its nice to have a break lol

Medic - posted on 03/24/2011

3,922

19

552

We were raised very differently. My dad always made sure the women had their food and drinks first. He worked all day so my step mom cooked but my dad did all of the cleaning after he got home. He made all of our school lunches in the morning and made sure all of us kids were up for school. My husband and I work the same way.

Jaime - posted on 03/24/2011

59

19

3

Dont get me wrong he helps out alot too..and he will cook sometimes and help clean..but its all about how i was raised my grandma did it for my grandpa and my mom for my dad..its not about being home with the kids all day or anything like that i just like doing it for him..he works ALL day and yea i do too but im with my babygirl so i dont consider it work i have fun with her.

Medic - posted on 03/24/2011

3,922

19

552

I would be one of those that would look at you like you had two heads. My husband will almost always make my plates because I make the kids plates. I don't think we should have to wait on them hand and foot. I am home all the time but his happy rear helps with all of the cooking and cleaning.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms