Starting to get lonely, I'm down to one friend!

Andrea - posted on 11/12/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I completely knew that having a baby, especially so young would take a toll on my social life.
But it's starting to become so lonely. I hate that I can't even send a text to someone when I'm having a bad day or just want a friend to talk to.
I moved an hour from my original location for the convienence in finances &all but I go visit my old neighborhood a lot &i hate people always saying that me moving is the excuse we don't talk cause that's what phones and cars a for! My area is even train accessible so you don't even realistically need a car. I'm just sick of the excuses, and when I ask them why I wasn't invited to places I can go it's always the same junk.
I just need to know where this is going? Is it gonna get worse? Should I just stop trying altogether?
I'm new to this site by the way so excuse my full vent mode, I'm just overwhelmed.


[deleted account]

It sounds like you need to make some new friends.
I don't know how old you are, but you sound like you are still young--mid 20's maybe?
By the time you hit your mid 30's you will know that friends are seasonal. Very, Very few will stick around for your entire life, not because they are shallow or fake or any of the other mean words we use to describe people who don't go the distance, but because we all grow and change throughout our lives. The girls you were thick with as teens will grow and change and find new interests that may or may not coincide or complement your own growth, change, and new interests.

That said, nothing is stopping YOU from calling your old friends. You don't have to wait for them to call you, and you shouldn't. Often, when someone is a new mother, friends are hesitant to call because they don't want to interrupt a nap or a feeding or whatever--they know you are busy so they wait for you to call them on your own time.
Keep in touch with your old mates if you wish, but make some new friends too. Speak to other moms at the park, at story times, at classes, or wherever you take your child. Join clubs for moms and volunteer in your community. If you volunteer in an area you are passionate about, you will meet a lot of other people with the same interests, these will make much better friends than those who are only friends with you because you were thrust together in the same class in grade school or lived in the same neighborhood. Friendship is not about location, it is about interests and compatibility.

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