Michelle - posted on 05/03/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hey everyone I'm new to this whole chat room thing, but I've gotten to the point where my motivation is at an all time low, to do anything. I have a toddler who will be 2 in June and I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first girl, and I have two older boys who are 12 and 14, I don't have a car during the day and by the time evenings come around I'm exhausted to do the things I wanted to do in the day, I don't have a communicative relationship, with my partner, I've expressed my feelings and have gotten no where but a argument with me taking the blame, I cannot work due to me being pregnant and I feel stuck, I have no friends around me since we have moved and don't talk to them anymore, I was this single woman who had two boys from my first marriage and where almost of age so I thought I would have time for myself to go to school or work without worrying my two boys young at home, I was full of laughter and happiness, while I was at work, my boss and me ended up getting together and he was the man of my dreams, but after our son was born I saw a side of him who didn't care, he says he has a lot of call outs at work and is randomly missing at different times of the day, so if I ask I get the 3rd degree, so now not only do I not have adult interaction, all my feelings wonders or worries must be kept to myself, I don't have a car anymore, and I don't work, except taking care of the kids, all laughter has stopped, i cannot turn to family, because I'm not close with his family in the sense of he is never wrong or does no wrong, example, after our son was born he had a woman sit on his lap during a picture, it was his sister in laws sister, whom can't help but flirt with him and he flirt with her and I was the bad person because I had a problem with it, my mom passed I have no dad, no extended family, so no win situation, he's never said sorry in the last 3 years, and has laughed when I'm sad, he's told me that I don't do anything for him and that I don't appreciate him paying for a roof over my head and the two kids from my first husband, Sex is scheduled maybe every other week, he gives no money to me I ask him to buy the things I need or the baby, that I bring nothing to this relationship, I am depressed because here I am having another baby, and feel trapped I feel he monitors my every move, but can do his thing, I want to go to work but who will hire me at this trimester, i have no transportation or day care, I fell in love with this man and now, the life I dreamnt of is a nightmare, I'm not the person I was 3 years ago, I'm not motivated I'm sad and alone. I just need a friend to give encouragement to help me rise up again and get me motivated to be the woman I was, encouragement or advice. I'm alone with so many worries and I try to stay strong raising innocent kids, but it's hard, this isn't me this isn't who I once was. Help!