stay at home mom feeling depressed and unmotivated

Shelly - posted on 09/24/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi I am new here, and I have a beautiful 6 month old baby girl. A little background, I have been married 8years, after trying for entire 8 years and 2 pregnancy losses I finally have this Angel. Alot of complications so was unable to work (after being sole bread winner for over 5 years) did practically nothing entire pregnancy and after. I now stay home with my baby and husband works full time. I love being here to see all the miraculous things she does, yet am batteling depression. I have severe anxiety, ptsd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, and now depression. I am seriously unmotivated even to do house work. It's beautiful out yet can't seem to even take my daughter outside to sit or even for a walk. Absolutely no friends (not exaggerating) other than my husband. I am even unable to pray. I know that probably sounds silly but it's like I have a mental block. I am currently taking an anti depressant but not helping much. I put on 42 pounds during pregnancy and after giving birth had only lost 2 POUNDS!! So 6 months later I have only lost 3 pounds. And to top it off my spouse takes our only vehicle to work and is gone 10 hours a day. Am I alone?? Does anyone else feel thus way or can someone tell me something to make me feel any better? I feel unattractive, lazy, overweight, and basically useless. And no insurance to see a Dr. Thanks for reading my post and I appreciate any feedback. Have a blessed day.

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Shelly - posted on 09/30/2014

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Feeling a little better actually. Thank you for thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate that. After talking on here last week I took little one out for a walk 3 days n a rol, and yesterday we took her to the zoo. Being out of the house has really helped my mental state. Have not found a moms group yet. It was nice just having someone to hear me and how I feel and offer suggestions. Thanks for that. Also have been able to pray. Which I feel blessed about. Been thanking God for all the blessings he has given me rather than all I don't have. If I could just stay in this state of mind I believe I would be ok. Lol.

Sarah - posted on 09/24/2014

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Yes, you are depressed. I don't need to be an MD to tell you what you already know. I too suffered terribly. My life was picture perfect yet I wished I could paint the windows black and hide inside. I counted the minutes until my son would nap. Even though you take an antidepressant, it is not enough.
You NEED to get some help. Call your OB, see if he can help you. However, with your other mental health issues, you would benefit greatly from seeing a psychiatrist. I know you are uninsured and doctor visits are expensive but in the grand scheme of things it will be worth the cost. If your child were sick you'd find a way to pay, you are sick so find a way. Try your local public health office, you may get help thru them for free. The downside is you may have to wait a long time.
While it may feel impossible, try to find a mother's group at the library, thru the hospital, or maybe your park district. Ask your hubby to leave you the car one day a week (maybe you can drop him) so you can go to a group? Or, is there public transportation? I know it feels like a monumental task, but ask your hubby for help. Can he take any vacation time? Is your mom nearby? Any family?
I will pray for you until you can do it for yourself again. Good Luck!

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Sarah - posted on 10/06/2014

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Shelly, I wanted to know you are still in my prayers and thoughts. I hope you are feeling even better.

Sarah - posted on 09/30/2014

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Shelly, how are you feeling? Any luck connecting with a mom's group? Did you talk to your hubby. I been thinking of you!

Shelly - posted on 09/24/2014

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No family near and even if there was no help lol. My mother is a diagnosed schizophrenic who refuses to take meds so she doesn't even know what's going on in her own life most days. My father is cold, alcoholic, & secluded most of the time. I know I need to see someone. I just don't know how to manage it. My husband took a new Job with a $3 pay cut so he will have insurance offered so we r skimming by. I agree that I need to find a group for moms. I really need a psychiatrist. I need to find someone who works on income base. I also have a 13 year old daughter who lives about 2 hours away from me. We talk daily. So her not being with me and no family/friends support makes things awful to try and deal with. Thank you for your post it's nice to have someone else agree. I need help and that I'm not just imagining these issues. And I appreciate your prayers more than you know.

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