Valerie - posted on 03/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
My husband and I are 14 years apart. I am soon to be 30 and he soon to be 44. After 11 years of being together, married 3 out of those, is it safe to say I could have grown apart from him? I love him for those 11 years but they have been about 80% bad memories. I wont say he is a a bad man, he's never laid a hand on me or the kids. We both have made mistakes very early in our relationship that caused us to grow apart and just stick with each other purely out of comfortability. We haven't slept in the same bed for years. We don't go out on dates and I am no longer physically attracted to him. Im trying to explain to him that I want this divorce so that we can stop living a life of "comfortability" and pursue a life of happiness. We were so close when i brought the divorce papers home, but then when i started talking finances with him, since he's the only provider, he decides "hey you wanna get counseling". He must think its cheaper to keep her. Which would be correct but how do you fake living together for sake of children and expect your own happiness not to be overlooked. I can give you one example of the kind of partner he is by this comment. I have been sick with a cold for 4 days now , on top of a herniated disc that started up again 3 days ago. Then my son gets sick with the cold. My husband decides he wants to wake up at 11am, shower, and head out the door to go visit his family he just seen last week. SO here i am at home sick, with a son who is also sick, and my back is hurting, and i have to cook dinner, and clean up house, and tend to my 2 year old baby. I ask him why couldn't you have just stayed home to help me. He says" you seemed fine and i dont get a day off at my job" This is his usual attitude about our "roles". and when i was 19 and naive i was like ok sure. but now that he have taken on more responsiblities i feel like the only one who has changed and i cant do this anymore. I need help. For my kids and myself, am i being selfish to want to end this marriage?