Stay at home mom very overwhelmed

Juliana - posted on 01/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay at home mom which I thought would be a lovely idea but now I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed. I only have 1 child who is now 20 months old and has begun the " terrible 2s" stage. I get absolutely no time for myself. In this 20 months, I've had 2 nights away from home without my family. We moved about 2 hours away a year ago and I have absolutely no friends or family here. My husband and I don't have a proper relationship anymore because I'm wiped by days end to even think about getting intimate. We're so new here, we don't even have a babysitter so we can go out together. I've joined play groups in hopes to find other moms to become friends with but nobody seems interested.. They all seem to have their own cliques. Point.. I'm lonely, I'm tired and I'm frustrated to no end these days. All I want to do is sleep. Forget house chores and making dinner.. My pillow keeps calling my name. My son got me so worked up this morning, I had to walk away because I just couldn't take it anymore and then I spent the rest of the day feeling guilty and cried. My poor husband. He works from home, so he sees my change in mood and of course has to work knowing I'm upstairs struggling. I'm so physically and emotionally tired I don't know what to do with myself. How do I deal with a child that doesn't stop whining??? I knew this would happen eventually but I was not prepared for how unreasonable he is. Am I doing something wrong maybe? I question my capabilities as a mom everyday. Could I possibly be depressed or maybe I just need a break. I can't feel like this anymore.. It's so draining. Some positive feedback would be nice.

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Juliana - posted on 01/11/2014

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Thank you. I'd love to sit at my kitchen table but it's never done alone lol. I can put on a movie on but his attention span is that of a fly right now. I'll try more activities such as painting. I've tried it before, he has fun for 5mins and gets bored. Same goes with colouring. He seems to have trouble occupying himself, always needs to play with mommy or daddy, which I don't mind but I do need a break. Just recently, I did tell my husband I'll be leaving the house at least once a week, even if it's just to sit at the coffee shop down the road, I've yet to do this. I feel guilty if my son is having a bad day, I don't want to leave my husband alone with him lol. Sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, afterall.. I deal with it all day, everyday. Thanks for the advice. :) feels good to get it all out.

Kayla - posted on 01/11/2014

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First of all, you are not alone here! Being a stay at home mom is a very tough job, one that is trying on your patience!
Second of all, it is normal for you to be feeling this way. You could be depressed, but more than likely you just need a break.
Does your son have enough activities in the day to keep his mind busy? Kids this age are changing so much and are becoming so much more curious and adventurous. My kids at this age loved painting (especially finger painting), baking, and puzzles.
I have 3 kids, who are 4, 2 and 11 months old, and I am a stay at home mom as well. I get very stressed out at times. The number one thing I learned is to never blame myself for feeling that way. Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed I put on a movie for the 2 older ones while the baby is napping, and I sit down with a tea and a magazine in the kitchen and just enjoy some quiet time. I can't get out often either, as my husband works 10 to 12 hours shifts 6 days a week. When you can't leave the house much, it is important to take the time for yourself when you can, even if it's just at the kitchen table!
For yourself, maybe you can talk to your husband and tell him that you do need a break for yourself. Maybe even just a half hour walk alone would help. It does get easier as kids get older, so hang in there!

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