Stay at home mom wanting to leave boyfriend

MariahCampbell - posted on 07/27/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years had our 1st child after a yr in a half and our second child two years after our first. With our first my boyfriend was the ideal father I imagined him to be but with our second, he had became a alcoholic about a year before our 2nd son was born. And it's made him a terribly irresponsible person, and frankly a not so good father. He does work and is good at it but when he arrives home it's about him. He brings home food for himself and nothing for me and our kids most nights where I have to BEG to take me to the store (I refuse to go to store with my kids alone if I have their father there to help) just so I can at least get my kids something to eat. This doesnt happen everyday but it is something I go through multiple times a week. But the sad truth is even when we can't afford anything extra. He somehow manages to drink pints after pints of liquor EVERYDAY. He goes to aa meetings but his thanking is still the same. "I've got to drink, or I'll die of a panic attack" "I can't go without it with my aniexy" "with me being the only one working I'm under alot of stress" "you make me drink"ect.... I've heard them all. I understand ppl do have aniexy but I've known him for 7 years and I don't see why all of a sudden after 3 years of just drinking one night a week turned to 7 days. I'm a say at home mom. I do EVERYTHING! Clean take care and raise our children pick up after him and his brother(who lives with us and is a alcoholic as well) I pay the bills with his money because "he's not good at remembering them". So of course when he gets home and relaxes for a hour or so, I do, I ask him to watch the kids while I smoke or just pick up the house more. He won't do it. He says I ask to much from him. Now our firstborn, a sleep schedule is difficult it doesn't matter what time late at night he passes out. He ALWAYS wakes up in the middle of the night or way to early(like4-5am) in the morning. So basically my life is I get four or five hours of sleep a day everyday. I've workING very hard for a normal schedule but when I ask my boyfriend. He says it's my fault, my problem.... now I understand why he would say this. But being a family needs support and helping eachother. He will not help me with anything. Today our second son (9months) choked twice under the care of his father when I left to go on a walk with our 2 year old. He choked on these things right in front of my boyfriend!! There is my bf,baby, then the videogame. I walked in to my son turning blue while my boyfriend was pissed because his kill/death ratio wasn't good! Like am I overreacting and over thinking about leaving my boyfriend? I feel like I'm already doing this by myself so I might as well do it. But if I do that my boyfriend will have partial custody and that would mean my son's would be alone with 2 alcoholic when they go to their dad's. how can I help my family.


Dove - posted on 07/27/2016




Start going to Alanon meetings. They are for family members of alcoholics. Document all the drinking and the neglect... Times/dates/photos, etc... If you have enough evidence of the alcohol abuse hopefully he would not get unsupervised visitations unless/until he can prove consistent sobriety.

Stop begging him to be involved and stop leaving either of the children unsupervised w/ him... ever. If you need to go to the store for food... take the kids and go.

This is a toxic environment for all of you, but the people at the Alanon meetings will have the best advice on how to approach the situation.

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