KharmaK - posted on 04/01/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )
How much house work should a stay home mom do? I always feel like Im dealing with my 2 year old or running chores all day for myself and husband. However the house work never gets done. There is usually a weeks worth of dishes in the kitchen piled up. Its difficult to walk through a large house because every room is cluttered. Three bathroom counters can not even be seen with everything on top of them. And I admit that most of the clutter is mine. I just dont have the time it seems.
My husband is frustrated with me because the house is always a wreck. He works all of the time (94-102 hours weekly to meet our bills). Even though he works from home (computer related work) he hasnt had a holiday off in the last five years, his last full day off was probably 1-2 years ago. He probably had a few "half days" off the year before that. While he brings in a 6 digit income, we seem to barely get by and the reason he works non-stop. He hasnt seen or talked to any of his friends for over a year because he thinks it will take away from time when he can work and make more money. We did receive a few foreclosure notices last year so money really is an issue.
Does he have a right to be frustrated with the house being a mess all of the time because Im a stay home mom and he works 15-16 hours daily (7 days a week)? He points this out quite often when I try to get him to help me with the chores, the baby and taking our dogs for potty walks. He may change our son's diaper 1-2 times a day and will get our child up in the morning if he is still up from working all night but thats about it. He does NOTHING more. I have to do ALL of the errands, phone calls, take the trash out and sometimes even cook for him once a day. I also do 90% of the child care. I also know he has made time to leave the house to get his hair cut 3 times last year and went to the doctor 4 times last year. He seemed to be able to make an hour or two on those 7 occasions. Seems like he could do the same at some point to help me around the house or just spend a little more time with his family. Any advice? Does he have a right to be frustrated at a messy house? Is it wrong for me to expect him to help around the house more? If the clutter was not mostly mine but mostly his instead, would that make a difference?