Staying in with husband for the sake of children

AMARJIT - posted on 04/14/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband has lost interest in me. He finds younger woman more attractive. Once we went out for dinner and his boss's wife. The whole time during dinner he was focusing on this woman more than the boss. I know she is so oooooo sexy and revealing all her assets. My children can see how their father is behaving. He just brush me aside. We are fighting nearly everyday about this lady especially.He defends her more than me.She has done nothing wrong. He is saying I'm jealous of her because she is more sexier than me. My in laws are against my marriage they are happy to see my husband loosing interest in his wife. I'm really broken.Im a professional. I just bought a house and I'm forced to live in this condition with my husband to lessen my financial burden. He pretends that he is good and loving.I only know the truth about him

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Sarah - posted on 04/14/2016

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I agree and disagree with Victoria. Sex will not fix your marriage. While taking some time to spice things up can help your love life; a damaged relationship needs more than a good roll in the hay.
You are an educated, professional woman. Enticing your man sexually will only be a temporary fix for other issues. If you are not happy, then ask him to see a therapist. You can only control your own fate and happiness.

Sarah - posted on 04/14/2016

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One day, after being up all night (and I mean all night) with a crying infant, a sick toddler, and two school age kids (sleeping and healthy thank God); my husband said to me "you are a good woman, and I am glad we are in this together". Of course, at the time, i wanted to stick a fork in his eye as I had been the one up all night as he slept so he could go to work that day. I remember that statement now as it was his way of validating his love for me. I looked (and smelled awful) but he knew I needed a boost. This may not seem to apply but if your man can't love you for who you are and what you look like at the moment, then you both need some help. If my hubby had said to me that morning "you are so pretty" or the equivalent, I'd have known it did not come from the heart. Finding a way to communicate in a manner you both can understand may help your marriage.
I guess in short; there is more than shaving your legs to keep the fire alive in a lifelong partnership. Find it, tell him you appreciate him and you may find you're more in balance than you think .

Ev - posted on 04/14/2016

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I agree with Victoria to a point and more with what Sarah and Megan have said. It does take more than sex and looking sexy to make a marriage work. Counseling is the only other option here outside of divorce. Divorce is not easy and I can tell you that from experience. Custody is not easy either but it comes with the territory. If he refuses to get counseling you might have to consider it for just yourself and get a lawyer and see what options you have.

Megan - posted on 04/14/2016

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God knows the truth as well. And Amarjit, God knows how absolutely beautiful you are! If your husband has forgotten that is so sad for him. He has a gorgeous wife and beautiful children yet he is not grateful. He is being very self centered. He promised to love you but has chosen to act mean and rude. DO NOT allow him to make you feel less than the beautiful woman you are. Don't lower yourself to his level. Right now he really doesn't deserve you. Ask him if this is the marriage he envisioned when he asked you to marry him. Make clear that you love him but will not continue to be treated with disrespect. Request that you both attend marriage counseling. Please if he won't go to counseling then you go. Pray, pray pray... God can work miracles in your life. When you feel overwhelmed remember that you are amazing in God's eyes. Treat yourself with kindness. You are a professional be thankful and proud of yourself. This book might give you more coping ideas... http://amzn.to/1ShIdSQ
I am sending hugs and prayers your way right now. I truly hope you feel them.

Victoria_brown8931 - posted on 04/14/2016

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Wow mabe you should get sexy and be sexy looking everyday get your hair nails toes and even a wax be a women you think men couldnt resist even for your ungrateful husband honey. Show him hey your missing out on this and if you dont straighten up you wont get none of this anymore. Step up and stop being so broken about his actions and for the boss wife compliment her on her appearance and stylish clothes and ask her where she gets it from be the boos chick to your husband and stop focusing on the negative live life and enjoy for your children.

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Aster302516 - posted on 04/14/2016

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I’m sorry about the pain you’re experiencing with your husband. Have you considered getting in touch with a marriage counselor? If you think it would be helpful, Focus on the Family has free licensed counselors that you can call at 1-800-A-FAMILY. A friend of mine spoke to one of them and found them very caring and encouraging. I just said a prayer for you, and I really hope you find the comfort and help you’re seeking. Hang in there, friend!

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