Step child and marriage

Martha - posted on 05/15/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've been married for two years. I kept running out on my marriage always came back allergen fighting I couldn't deal with. Anyways I have a step daughter she turns 15 soon. My husband let's her do what she wants gives her whatever she wants never makes her do anything not even clean her room or cat litter which she promised to take care of if she got. I brought cough meds out the other night because she was coughing he wouldn't even make her take it. He's like I can't make her take it along with anything else he sees her more a friend than a child we argue one min she's a child next she a teenager then she's adult he downgrades me in front of along with are toddlers let's her talk to me anyway she feels fit and he gets mad because I say we'll she doesnt need food or drink in her room if she ain't going to clean it our other daughter thinks she can too and she's four he punishes the four year old which is his step daughter if she don't clean hers but not his own and this all orders with raising the little ones my step daughter has lived with us going on 4years mother has been apart of her life other than holidays doesn't pay for anything not even the 80 miles a day to school I drive my step daughter because of divorce degree mother just gave her to father refused to give up Rights til recently so what do I do he treats me like a child and her like his best friend she has no responsibility or consequences I've tried speaking to him about it but starts a big fight and he says in not getting in between y'all too and I am 27 she is 14

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Martha - posted on 05/16/2016

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This is reply to jodi responds .

Me and my husband got together in May few days before mothers day got married that August .we were associates before that. I was his bartender her was my customer. So everything was wham bam thank you mam. We found out a month later I was pregnant as fast as everything went and then not being able to see family and etc left all my friends alone and adapting to being a whatever parent to the 13 year old which I'm told just be her friend not mother she has one but never around calls once in awhile. Husband always was working still does never got time with one another and I was no longer working money was tight all we did was fight I wasn't sure if this was really what I wanted. I learned its easier to run then stay so I got my head out of my assignment stepped up put my feelings to the side try to see his side but when it comes to the children I cant there for the longest I was cooking three meals a night cleaning a 13 year olds room and every room in the house taking care of her pets which I still do and now in still cleaning her room and I get yelled at by her and he does nothing he says we'll she doesn't see the point here's the point my daughter looks up to her and if she sees me cleaning her room and taking care of all her responsability she thinks she don't have to I get she's a teenager or if I Mess up at something he's like I should have had her do it she's the other adult in this house she helps out with nothing refuses to help with her siblings won't go to the grocery and I have to buy her food differently because she don't eat meat veg or fruit then he's on another diet and when I bring up where a family we need house rules and etc and some chores for Kidd it starts singing fight and really starts stuff between me her when actually tells her to clean her room or clean up after her cat because he doesn't ask her to anything and she knows he does when she's sick he doesnt make her stay in bed he let's her sit out side by the fire with 101 fever after she missed school and me talking to him about any of it starts a fight I came back because he is a good man and good to his kids even mine but we don't see eye to eye on easing these kids so either I got to suck it up be there whipping boy as he calls it or leave and he won't let me take my son I can't get a job he'll take the vehicle of my own he just got her one too I have no where to go if I try and get a job now it's going to interfere with his and he screams just sit on your buttons and have the world handed to you I don't Want that I'm grateful to get to watch my kids grow but he had no idea what it consists of being a mother u don't get to clock out I haven't been able to anything by myself in two years I haven't been able to get wasted or anything he has I haven't he can go to the store alone I haven't we do have trust issues and counseling isn't a option he won't do it I just don't knowhat to do anymore when we're good were good we only have one fight that continues and that's with the kids and me and his daughter. I know if someone else talked to me or treated me the way she does he would have done something he always gets on to my child for it I don't know so for complaining I guess and thank you for listening

Jodi - posted on 05/15/2016

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You said you keep running out. Why do you keep coming back if it is so bad? Quite honestly, the two of you could benefit from some counselling, because you clearly are NOT on the same page when it comes to parenting, and nothing good will come of it if it remains unresolved.

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