Step Children

Janell - posted on 12/10/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have been in a realationship for little over a year with a man who has two children a 12 yr old who is very lazy. He will ask her to do something and she will put it off until he forgets, most times he will forget and the mess she has made will be there for days. When he doesn't forget he has to yell at her to get her to do her chores. She will walk outside barefoot and go back in the house with dirty feet which will make the carpets not to mention furniture dirty. When she has something to eat or drink she will leave her wrapper or bottles laying around the house or she will throw it on the floor behind furniture etc. Very disgusting. I should let you know I am a very clean person and I can't stand a mess. When I mention that it's disgusting how his daughter throws trash on the living room floor or doesn't pick up after herself he gets defensive. She will literally have a trail of her things from the time she comes in the house after school that will just stay there until he asks her to pick it up. In the past when I complained he would say pick it up then. He has finally gotten better about not expecting me to pick up after her. Then there's his 18 yr old who for 10 years of her life from 8-18 he has been only able to see when her mother would allow her to. Now she will call and expect him to drop what he's doing to pick her up to spend a a few hours with him if that or she will keep calling until he does pick her up. I can't say anything to him about it because he says I don't understand. I love him very much but can't stand the situation. What do I do?


Amy - posted on 12/10/2012




Leave, his children are always going to be his priority! You said you can't stand the situation and it is unlikely to change so just walk away now.


View replies by

Janell - posted on 12/11/2012




No I'm not married. I have a 22 yr old daughter of my own who is on her own now.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012




Well, you have only been in these kids lives and this mans life for a year now. He has his relationships with his daughters, and clearly a seperate relationship with you. Do you have children of your own? You did not mention any so I am gonna have to say no. So no you really would not understand. That is not to be mean, but it is the truth. He is probably not going to change who he is with his children, so it really is going to depend on if you can handle the situation. If you do not fit nicely into their family, it may not be the right choice for you to stay. You may love him, but he has kids. He is not a single man. I am sure you can discuss setting up a chore chart, and an allowance for chores done, but really other than that you may be stepping over the line.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms