Step children are destroying our marriage

Lisa - posted on 12/16/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi,
I have just joined today and think this is a great site. Mums have a guilt metre injected into them as soon as they have a baby, so a site like this is awesome to just unload "stuff".
I would like some feedback/advice on my current situation. I have a biological son who is 9(divorced 4 yrs ago) and now two step children(remarried two years ago). The step children are aged 10(girl) and 8(boy). The main problem is that my husband thinks his children are perfect and that my son is far from it. He is always listening into their conversations and if he hears anything that sounds like it might upset his children he pounces on my son. My son has the best values, loves his family, but yes he is rowdy. The step children are totally wrapped in cotton wool by their mother, we are not allowed to raise our voice or punish the two, as this would scare them! They are scared of everything and very timid, where my son is confident and very outgoing. It is an obvious difference in personalities and as a result I really think my husband resents his step son. I am at a point that I really don't know what to do. Has anyone had anything similar?

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Lisa - posted on 12/16/2015

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Thanks Evelyn. I think you are right, it is time for counselling. The two step children are disciplined very differently (as in none) when they are with their mother and my husband doesn't want to discipline at our home as he is worried that they won't want to come here anymore. It's not fair that my son still gets the discipline as I believe you need to set boundaries and that the other two see my son receive discipline..it's all messed up, and I agree it is at counselling stage now. Thanks for your reply

Ev - posted on 12/16/2015

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It takes a lot to blend families. Did you two sit down and discuss the rules and consequences for the kids when they are all there together? Did you discuss how to handle different types of situations? I think maybe you need some family counseling.

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