Step children are the favs of the fam...toddler w DS seems 2b left out

Renee - posted on 06/18/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My son is 2 who has down syndrome and his sibling are 9 and 10. Due to him having blue eyes and blonde hair caused the family to question if my son was son of their son's. His sister denied him over social media claiming he was not their nephew and we were no one to them.. I did a paternity test for the sake of my son because I don't want him to feel he doesn't belong. test 99.9% sooo moving forward the aunts still dont see him or ask the grandmother rarely sees him bec she's too busy w church now that I logged on to FBK I notice she has an acct now and only a picture of her two grandchildern an dnot the 3... I feel so hurt for my child that I really duno how to handle this situation. I try not to take it personal seeing photo on FBK profile but it's hard not to. My boyfriend hates drama especially family but I dnt think it bothers him to see the big picture here... it's not fair or right to his baby.

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MaryAnn - posted on 06/20/2015

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Ive seen it work. In life, sometimes we need to cut ties. "They did not accept us as family, they did not treat us as a family, they did not want us as a family- and everyone of us deserves to be loved" teaches a pretty strong lesson of self respect, standing up for what's right, and doing what it takes to protect our loved ones... Because they deserve to be protected.

Ev - posted on 06/19/2015

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When you cut ties like that after a time that two year old is going to become older and ask questions regardless of being a special needs child or not if they can articulate. Even a two year old can tell when they are being "over looked" so to speak by others. They understand when the other kids come home with a new toy or item and they did not get it from the grandparents too. Cutting relations for the entire family is not going to work in reality.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/19/2015

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Nowhere did i suggest the kids be separated. My suggestion was simply that she stop all relations she can with the unsupportive family and request BF does the same. She cant make him, but she can make it clear that he should give his obligations to all his children before some of his children and his parents.
cutting mom and dad out for not accepting a two year old is not drama.

Renee - posted on 06/19/2015

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True.. I'm just worried as he gets older he'll see how their treated different. I guess I can only pray abt and be his everything!

Ev - posted on 06/19/2015

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MaryAnn- Sometimes its not always feasible for some of this to be done in this manner. What is she supposed to tell this child when he is older and starts asking questions as to why he does not get stuff from the relatives on dad's side of the family nor why he does not see them if she keeps the child away? That is also going to hurt the child too. I would make it either the family start treating all the kids the same because they are all equally related. I wonder if this has to do with the child having Downs because some people are very unrealistic in their handling of people with special needs.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/19/2015

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He can separate his family for them.
He shouldnt be exposing children to this.
My best advice is- regardless of what he decides to do with the other two, protect yours and protect yourself. Do not let them in your home. Do not take your little one to her home. Suggest he do the same.
He cant change their feelings, but he can prevent their actions from hurting his child.

Ev - posted on 06/19/2015

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He can not force them to act a certain way with the little one and you are right on that but maybe you should also tell them how it makes you feel since you are the mother of this little boy that is their grandchild/relative. But he should stand up for you guys each time.

Renee - posted on 06/19/2015

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He claims he has spoken to them already abt this and doesn't know what to do because he can't make them act a certain way towards the lil one.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/18/2015

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Your family is your family. The whole thing.
BF needs to take a step back and realize that all his kids are his kids, and favouritism should not be tolerated.
If he is the family man he claims to be, he should put a stop to this. Its not drama, it is protecting what is his and doing right by his family.

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