Step Daughter

Karen - posted on 11/05/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Please advise me on how to deal with a 17 year old Step daughter. She really hates me and her father does not see it. I can ask her something and she will go and tell him the answer without speaking to me. She will ignore me or talk down to me when he is not around. I try to treat her like i do my own kids who are of the same age. When my parents come visit she treats them so bad my parents want nothing to do with her. If we have a family gathering (wedding or birthday) she goes out of her way to make a scene. Calls her MOTHER tells her we are nothing but drunks.

My youngest is a special needs child and my step daughter is always making fun of my daughter making her cry.

I love my husband dearly but i am not sure how much longer i can deal with this child with no help from him.

Last year I took her back to school shopping cause her mom had no money. It was me no one else who took her.. she came home and hugged her dad thanked him and turned to me giving me a smirk as if to say she will never thank me for what i did for her..

Is it ok for me to tell my husband I can't and won't put up with her anymore.. That he can do everything for her from now on. And that when my parents are around I don't want her anywhere near us.

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Jodi - posted on 11/06/2013

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Personally, I think your husband needs to be more supportive of you and make it clear to his daughter that her treatment of you and your family is unacceptable. She needs to stop going to him to undermine you all the time. Has he ever put his foot down? That has to be discussion the two of you need to have. It is absolutely ok for you to tell him you won't put up with it any more, and in fact, it is also ok for you to make it clear that you expect HIM to support you in that if it happens, and not continue to enable his daughter's behaviour.

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Karen - posted on 11/06/2013

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She refuses to talk to anyone about it. Says I imagine it. But anyone who comes over asks why i put up with the way she is with me. No matter what i cook to eat she doesn't like it. And my husband will go and make her something else to eat.

If my husband and I are talking she has to make sure she points things our i say if it is incorrect. She is so rude to my mother that my mom won't even buy for her at christmas anymore cause she told my mother why does she bother she never gets her anything good and she isn't her grandmother anyway,

I am so close to telling my husband it is her or me. But i can't do that.. I refuse to come between my husband and his daughter. Anyone who comes over now asks is "she" gonna be there to ruin our night?

Wish I knew what to do.

Jodi - posted on 11/06/2013

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Has anyone spoken to her and asked her why she is behaving this way? Have you considered counselling for her to get to the bottom of the issue?

Karen - posted on 11/06/2013

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2.5 year.. and no. When we were just dating she loved me gave me hugs everytime she seen me. The closer it got to the wedding the worse she got towards me. And it just is getting worse.

Jodi - posted on 11/05/2013

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How long have you been married to your husband and was your relationship with her always like this?

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