Step daughter is angry with me for cleaning her room.

Martha - posted on 05/07/2017 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My step daughter hasn't cleaned her room in quite a long while. Hasn't washed her sheets, vacuumed, dusted etc.. She has been taking our huge puppy in her room and has been making a huge mess, chewing on anything he can including her lilies. She just turned 18 and is graduating in a couple of weeks. I asked her maybe three times to clean her room or else I would. Her room began to smell because of the puppy. I decided to clean it myself. She came home in a rage and sent me a text "Do not ever do that again," I was so upset! I I understand the privacy issue. I have never done that, always knocked.. I was fed up with the dirty room... How would you other moms have handled it!!

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Missie - posted on 05/10/2017

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You were asking for trouble. Close the door, you don't see a mess. She will ALWAYS be his daughter. You? Who knows.

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Martha - posted on 05/15/2017

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Thank you all for your comments. In a nutshell, my steps kids have been in my life for about nine years, they are great kids as well as mine. Lets go back four months- My SD was caught sneaking in her cousin now boyfriend in her room and having sex. We sat down with her and did the whole talk about disrespect.. So, I guess ever since then she has been on the defense about EVERYTHING. Its not just me, she has disrespected her mother and my husband as well by being very mouthy lately. I am actually the cool lay back one. All I want is my house clean, that it, I'm easy. SD has always done what she is told. Again, every since she was caught, Oh! and was caught at BF's house as well, she has been very disrespectful. Anyhow, I'm thinking she is in "exit' mode with her life since she is 18 now. My husband does back completely back me.I have really never been out of line with what I ask to be done around the house.

Michelle - posted on 05/13/2017

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I would be asking what her Father is saying about it.
You both need to be on the same page page but I think you did overstep the marl by cleaning her room.
I don't go in and clean my own children's rooms, I have learned to close the door.

Missie - posted on 05/12/2017

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Not a good idea if he wants to he in his daughter's life. Explain the scenario where step tells husband and he sides with her. If he does? He is a wretched, weak man of a father. If he doesn't? Start shopping divorce lawyers.

Missie - posted on 05/12/2017

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If it bothered her father, he would have done something. She is asking to lose.

Missie - posted on 05/12/2017

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Of course it helps. The mess bothers stepmother. Close the door. This has become a power struggle that stepmother will never, ever win.
Would you want a man for the father of your children that would not choose his child over any woman he is with? Of course not.
Father should be the one to address this if it bothers him.

Dove - posted on 05/10/2017

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No idea Sarah. I think that happened to me a few times... write a big post and then come back and it's gone, but I kind of thought maybe I just forgot to hit reply... cuz my brain would do that to me. lol

Therese - posted on 05/09/2017

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She's 18 and legally an adult. However, she is living in your home therefore she has to comply with your rules....or she is free to live on her own.

You and your husband need to make this clear to her. God Bless

Dove - posted on 05/08/2017

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Her dad needs to be backing you up on this, but if you have his full support and she knows that... You told her what needed to be done (clean the room) and what the consequences would be (you clean it instead), so she really has no one to blame other than herself. Sounds like she may be needing to look for her own place to live after graduation if she can't respect the home and rules.

Ev - posted on 05/08/2017

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You gave her a set of choices and then took action. Maybe you should have had dad tell her instead. But what is done is done. Now she is 18 and about done with school, you and he need to make it known that she will keep her room neat or she can move out.

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