Step daughters to be are already attached to me

Mia - posted on 08/18/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My BF has two daughters with a woman he never married or wanted to marry. I have a son who is 20, in college and lives on his own. The girls are ages 5 and 6 and a half and I adore them both. Sadly, BM likes to talk badly about their Dad in front of them and also talks badly about the rest of the family, me included. We don't talk badly in front of the kids for any reason as I feel it isn't healthy and could affect them psychologically. His daughters are very clingy with me whenever we go out, and sometimes they will even dismiss their father to sit on my lap or be next to me. They like me to carry them, do their hair, but mostly it seems like they just want to be held and comforted. I don't mind this one bit, but I was wondering why these two girls who have only known me for a year and see me every other week could be so attached to me? I have to admit, I have dated men with kids in the past and have never felt a bond like I do with these girls, something is telling me to protect them. Is it normal for step children to want to be so close to a step parent?

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Ev - posted on 08/19/2014

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That could be but kids know who they can trust. Its some kind of internal instinct to them. Its not like they think in actual words about it, its more or less like feelings and such. But that could be going on to. But unless you really know what is going on at the BM's home, there is not much you can really assume.

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Mia - posted on 08/19/2014

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I guess my concern was that they may not be getting the right type of attention/encouragement etc. from their BM. The youngest tells me she likes to be around me because at "home" she is always in Time Out. Seems like their home life with mom is stressful, as they seem to enjoy quiet time a lot.

Ev - posted on 08/18/2014

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I would think it is completely normal for kids to bond with a step parent like these girls have with you. They can tell there is something safe about you or that you are a person they can attach too. But there are some kids who can not get attached at all to the step parents. My own kids have had two step moms. They were never able to attach at any level with them because their step moms did not try to attempt to get to know them.

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