Step fathers

Susan - posted on 11/09/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I. Am at the end of my tether with my 29 year old son!!!!!!he has always bween difficult and although husband and I have been together for over 20 years Luke came back to live at home 3months ago has really caused so many problems being rude disrespectful in temper smashed his stepdads car window
His stepdad has now told him he is not allowed back in the family home he is currently staying with friend and has not got a job,I know he has done some bad things but this is makin me I'll with worry. He has sent a sorry e mail about the car and they met last week but Luke thinks his general behaviour is ok so refuses to try and change so it resolved nothing I am at. A loss what to do help!

Y

6 Comments

View replies by

K - posted on 11/11/2014

12

0

1

I will say that I am impressed that despite what your son has put you through, which you acknowledge quite forthrightly, you still seem so loving and concerned about him.

I think the fact that he voluntarily reached out to you to apologize seems to indicate that he has a connection with you & may be open to reconciliation and change.

It sounds like he needs anger management. Perhaps if he agreed to do that, & counseling, your husband might be willing to at least let him visit...??

Jodi - posted on 11/11/2014

3,562

36

3907

I think you need to give it time. Your husband has ever right to feel upset over this, and your son needs to demonstrate that he is sorry. It's very easy to say you are sorry, but so march harder to actually demonstrate that you can make changes because you are sorry. If you want to see your son, meet him somewhere. In fact, try to meet him occasionally for lunch, dinner or coffee WITH your husband so than you can rebuild the relationships.

Susan - posted on 11/09/2014

4

0

1

Thanks for both your comments and I agree with what you are saying but I find it very hard as a mum that he can't come back to visit, he is still doing some nasty things behin the scenes, he seems to think its everyone's fault but his, I just feel lost to know how to untangle this mess.his stepfather has provided for him all these years but he doesn't seem to think about these things. We are in a very dark place right now and not sure how to get out of it?

Jodi - posted on 11/09/2014

3,562

36

3907

You need to back up your husband here. I'm sorry, but your son was rude and disrespectful and it is time for him to stand on his own two feet. Accept the apology, but let him know his behaviour does have consequences, even if he is sorry for it, and a part of that means he needs to find his own place to live.

Ev - posted on 11/09/2014

8,006

7

918

Your son is an adult and there is nothing you can do about it. He is going to have to change of his own accord and if he can not see his behavior for what it is, there is not much you can do but to tell him until he really changes he can not come to the family home. Your husband is right on that. If the son is allowed to come visit, are you ready for more violent behavior and more destruction to the property there? He broke the care window on the husband's car! He should have been made to pay for that damage if not your husband should have filed a police report on it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms