step grandparents

Deborah - posted on 05/23/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




was stunned to read sooo many comments to the question, " what should my step grandchildren call me? "... i am so stunned at so many strange answers... in a world growing colder by the day, any chance to receive love and warm family relationships for children should be jumped at. my sisters grandmom (from my moms FIRST marriage) Always referred to me as her granddaughter and i felt incredibly loved. when an adult crosses the blood barrier to hold a child close to their heart it should be warmly welcomed. if it is an adult that is "flakey" than let the child know the flakey grandparent isn't really a blood relative and has issues but accept any love from them they give with caution they might not be there one day. I am so excited, my daughter married a man with 9 children.. and my heart grew bigger instantly. as i get to know each child, they get added to the christmas and birthday list and get calls of merry wishing too.

isn't it an HONOR for someone to open their heart to your child when they really don't have too.. and in all fairness i think its a MUST that step grandparents do this.. and embrace the roll completely and wholeheartedly, as if the step grandchild were their own.


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Ev - posted on 05/23/2016




I agree with Raye. I am a bio mom in the situation. My kids have had two step moms and so two sets of step families. The current step mom and siblings live just a short ways away. This step mom came in when my kids were a teen and middle elementary age. She did not really try to do much with them or make them feel like they were part of the family. Years have gone by and this woman's parents did not see my kids often but they did treat them fairly. I think they called them grandpa "name" and grandma "name". They always had something for them at Christmas and so on. They never saw much of their step aunts, step uncles and step cousins though step mom talked about them all the time. I think it should be up to the kids to call grandparents what they want. I think kids come up with some cute names for grandparents in general. If the relations are good in a blended family then both bio side and step side should have no problems with the names being used for grandparents or let alone parents. But more often than not, blended families have to deal with a lot of hostility. Step parents might hate bio parents and so on for whatever reasons. I did not care much for their step mom but treated her in a polite manner when we were in the same places at same times. But she never had a good thing to say to my kids about me from what my kids told me. When I became a grandmother the first time, I was not thrilled how she talked about having a "granddaughter" when she swore up and down she was not ready to be one and did not treat my daughter right to begin with. My ex husband has not even seen the babies much since each was born. I do not see them enough but need to more once my schedule gets better. I get called "Mom-mom" a name i called my own grandmother when I was little.

Raye - posted on 05/23/2016




I am a step-mom, and I have also antagonized over what to have the kids call me. It's strange, in this world of increasing blended families, that society can't either just use the same titles for steps that are used for bios (without the bios getting their panties in a bunch), or come up with new names to define the family relationships. When my parents got together in the 1970's, they each had a kid or kids from previous relationships. So it's not new, and will probably only be increasing, to have blended families. We should get with the times already.

Love should be allowed to be expressed to and from the kids without hesitation. It's not a competition, and who couldn't use more love? Yes, there are some bad seeds, both in the natural families and the step-families, but it doesn't help the kids to limit their interactions based on your own personal insecurities or hang-ups. Kids do understand the differences between bio and step, and will most often retain a special bond with their bio families. The only thing that would hurt that is the bio families themselves, by not thinking about the child's best interests. So... my opinion is to take care of your own relations with the child, and the rest will sort itself out.

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