Step kids

Rachel - posted on 04/16/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi, I have 3 children 2 of which are step children. Just recently the BM has stopped contact (for taking them back 30 mins late). I married my husband over 3 years ago and for the first 2 years I was main carer for my step children up until recently where the BM wanted a chance at being in there lives, which we had no problem with, for some reason BM doesn't like me possibly because she feels threatened (although she shouldn't I never want to replace her).

BM has stopped all contact for myself and step children's father as well as their 5 year old step sister. BM had set up mediation to which my husband had attended but BM refused to go. BM Has since said she doesn't want to go to mediation as she is heavily pregnant and doesn't want the hassle but had told my husband that if he wants to see his children HE MUST get a court order!
We don't know what to do or how to go about it a court order is a hell of a lot of money, we go round on the days we are supposed to have them but BM is either not there or point blank refuses to let us have them. My daughter is missing them terribly even though they are at the same school, although BM has told my step children that they cannot play with their step sister. All we want is regular contact with them and are missing them terribly as I know my step children feel the same as the teachers have told me they have been upset about the whole situation.

Has anyone got advise on what we can do?

Thanks

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Jodi - posted on 04/16/2015

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Unfortunately, he IS going to have to get a court order. What she is doing is parental alienation, but there isn't a damn thing you can do about it without going to court.

Do you have any sort of written documentation on the agreement between her and her husband about his visitation?

Your husband needs to document every time he attempts to visit the children and she denies him. This will become evidence that she can't do the right thing and will be helpful to you in court. Any evidence you can get demonstrating she is deliberately alienating the children from their father will be helpful.

Unfortunately, yes it is expensive to get a court order, but your husband is going to have to call her bluff. Set up an appointment with a lawyer to discuss your options.

Raye - posted on 04/17/2015

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The other moms are right... what she's doing is parental alienation, and the only way to fight it is to go to court to get custody and visitation decided on by a judge. Then you both need to abide by the courts decision. If she still tries to keep you away, haul her ass back to court for contempt.

Dove - posted on 04/16/2015

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Jodi is correct. What she is doing is not morally right, but as long as there is no court order... there is nothing to stop her from continuing to do so. Documenting all of his attempts at contact and the result of those attempts is very important as it will give him proof that he IS trying to be involved in their lives as he should be.

Jodi - posted on 04/16/2015

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Does your husband also try to call and talk to the children? It may be worth trying that as an avenue of contact too.

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Rachel - posted on 04/16/2015

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Thank you, in the short run I think my hubby is just going to keep turning up on the days they have agreed between themselves(she is very flaky when it come to the children) . But if it persists then definitely be going for a court order.

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