Step kids and stress please advise needed

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

0

OK, my man and I have been together for six years, he he two children 11 and 14, both boys and the 11 year old is handicapped. We recently got full custody of them both. The 11 year old bring his own kind of challenges but new is not the issue right now. The 14 year old is failing school, and I'm not proud t admit but I had a very hard time in school and didn't graduate on time, but when I try to tell him that if he doesn't try he'll have a harder time. And before yousay maybe he just isn't good at school, he is very smart and when he tries he gets A's and B's. He just wants to watcxh TV and play video games. When I try to explain what I went through he doesn't believe me and gets really mouthy and mean, at first it was just please don't talk to me like that, but now it's getting really bad. Then he goes and tells everyone that I'm the one being mean and he just wants to get away from me. Now, dad of course believes his son because his son can do no wrong. But his son won't start mouthing and yelling at me til his dad is gone. Then all h**l breaks lose. Dad just tells me to lay off and leave him alone, well, when the boy tells me what he is and isn't going to do and tells me what to I get a bit upset. I try to keep my cool, but you can only do that for so long. Since dad works third shift I have to get them ready for school and take them since dads not home yet. When they don't have school its worse. I just don't know what to do, I really don't know how our relationship can handle much more, I resent his oldest so much sometimes and it really puts a wedge between me and the dad as a couple. Any advise would really be appreciated. Thank you so much.

3 Comments

View replies by

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2014

3

0

0

I thank you for comments first. In response to both Andrea and Michelle, I have done all of these things, I have loads of video and audio, also the house rules and consequences were and are talked about and posted, but dad will not enforce the rules at all. It doesn't help that we have two sets of rule since the younger one has a little different rule considering his handicap. I just don't know how to get dad to help me out.

Andrea - posted on 03/08/2014

864

39

214

I agree with Michelle but, If their dad will not listen take your phone and set it up to record a video and let him see how things are really going down.. I know some parents think there kids can do no wrong ever, However no child or parent is prefect as we all have mood swings...
Biggest thing is showing dad:
A: how you are handling the situation
B: how the 14 year old is talking and treating you
C: Maybe find something to help the 14 year old with his attitude, ie. boxing, running, some activity that doesn't involve T.V. or Video games..
I can not relate 100% as I have never been in this type of situation, However I have a few friends who have had to deal with these issues..
Hope this is helpful, Take Care and Best Wishes...

Michelle - posted on 03/08/2014

4,567

8

3247

You need to have a sit down with Dad and tell him what's happening. If he's asking you to back off then let him know you will but that he also has to step up and discipline his children. He has to make sure that the children respect you and abide by the rules.
It may also help the children to write out some house rules and put them up so everyone can see them. You should also write up consequences for not following the house rules as well.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms