Mia - posted on 05/26/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
LONG STORY SHORT: I married my childhood best friend. He got his high school GF pregnant. My husband has had full custody for 13 years now. No battle, Bio Mom signed and agreed she wasn't a good fit for her son. Present day now....We have been together for 5 years.
My step son I consider my son. This woman... I don't think highly of. She is very immature and selfish (she plants negative seeds in his head and allows him to quit things that challenge him). She remarried and has two girls from another marriage and her newest model of husband has three of his own. sooooo Every JULY, that my step-son spends with them is like freakin DISNEY LAND! Presents, FUN, theme parks. She would never call him through out the year to check on him. She would text every once in a while.
Then her Husband and her move back to town and paper work says EVERY THURSDAY and EVERY other weekend she gets him. The stability we had built has gone to shit. We have a 13 year old boy who honestly has the best of both worlds. He is contently receiving love, affection, and anything he wants to do we are all for it or at least try. On the weekends when it is suppose to be her responsibility to make sure he makes practices for clarinet lessons, basket ball, and School functions. He some how always flakes out, or gets "Sick". She never follows through for us. She is teaching him to lie and make excuses. His attitude has changed from caring to, "Whatever, I'll do it next time".
His grades are slipping. He is quitting things and making excuses (he sounds like his mother, "I have five other kids to take care of I can't drive him around all day", My husband and I never talk bad about his mother in front of him.
When we try to talk to him he emotionally shuts down. He doesn't like to be told what to do it seems. It goes through one ear and out the other. He doesn't respond. This morning, I tried to talk to him on our way to school. I asked him to not take people for granted, that both families loved him and that we know he could do better if he tried a bit harder or cared a little bit more. He ignored me. I asked him to say something or respond on how he feels. He said,"ok" and slammed the door in my face. No remorse.
I am a good mother. I do so much for him and his baby brother. We use to be closer and now that she is in the picture again... He is changing. Whats worse is that he gets in trouble with us only to leave Thursday- Monday afternoon on her weekends and we never really properly get to deal with it, So when he comes back it is hard to be mad at him cause we missed him and vise versa with his BIO Mom. He is a chameleon. He is Chris over there and Middle name with us. There is no consequences for him, material things don't matter. He seriously has a lack of empathy. I don't know what do.
My husband and I are struggling... not with our marriage, we have each others back but, with him he is so closed off.. Did I mention BIO MOM pays ZERO in child support. My husband is just now considering taking her to court. He hadn't because he didn't want his son to resent him any more than he already does cause she has told him that We are trying to keep him away from her...the one who said in court she could't take care of him. I Love this kids so much and I also am very sad for him. I wish he would talk to us.