Emily - posted on 08/23/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )
Hi there... I have finally done it and joined. I don't know if I'm breaking any of the "rules" about posting, but here it goes!
I am a "step parent" - not married - boyfriend of a current 8 y/o soon to be 9, and we have been together since she was 5. I have come to this site many, many, MANY times. Unfortunately, most times I decided to take a look was due to a moment of frustration or new low. I don't like admitting it, but there you go.
Being in this situation is hard. I'm not a "mom", but must be a mother-like figure. Get called Mom on accident, but then am drastically told I am not her mom. Which, I'm not, so I can't fault a child for pointing that out. I just feel so stuck sometimes. I am constantly told that I am doing a great job with "SD", and even told that I am being a better mom than her real mom... by people that are close to her. And bio-mom has had her moments, but things have gotten better. We seem to be on the road of working together (which is a godsend). Honestly, I try REALLY hard, and it gets frustrating to feel as though it is all for nothing. But is that just how every parent feels??
BUT those are only at the low points. When things are going smoothly, things are wonderful. I feel the whole family vibe, and things are great. The sharp roller coaster ride of it all is a little bit daunting at times.
I find that by reading some of your stories... I'm not alone. I find that there are other mothers and step parents out there that think and feel the same things I do. I find that mine isn't the only father out there that seems to ignore bad behavior and let her get away with murder (I mean seriously... I hate feeling like the bad guy ALL THE TIME!). I'm not the only person out there that can't stand the new levels of snarky attitude - and honestly, seeing that others are dealing with these things are such a relief!
I just appreciate a place like this that I can see that I'm not the only one out there. I'm not alone, and things will be ok if you can heed some of the lessons from other mothers.