Step Parents are Parents Too!

Dawn - posted on 11/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have been married to my husband for 10 years; together 12. The entire time that we have been together I have tried my best to include my step daughter into our lives and family. I look at it as, when two people have a child and are no longer together they have to accept that there will be additional parenting roles to follow and it's best for everyone including the children to band together and make it work. It's just selfish to try and control what step parents roles are or to belittle them and make them feel like they have no role! My step daughters mother has severely hurt my feelings all these years, yet I keep trying to make it work and to be the best step mother I can be. I tried to have a heart to heart with her and tell her I would never want to replace her as mother that I know my place but I married my husband knowing that I was going to have to be a step mother to his child, I knew I would have to love a child that wasn't mine like she was my own and I am proud to be a step mother, along with having children with my husband that are our own. I have tried to bond with my step daughter only to be told to back off and mind my own business by her mother. I have hit the breaking point of giving up completely and it has almost destroyed my marriage. My husband and I love eachother so much that we wont allow that to happen. Now his daughter is having some behavior issues and has become very violent towards her Mom's side of the family. She is lashing out so this just adds to the problems we already had. Has anyone been in this situation that could offer me some advice. I want to do all I can to help her and my husband is not a very good communicator so I'm usually the one who does all the communicating. I just don't want to over step my bounds, although I believe I'm not that I'm just as much entitled as the bio parents.


Ev - posted on 11/22/2014




I agree with you that you are a parent too even though you are the step parent. But there are fine lines that you can not cross. If the parents are making decisions on their children and what is going on with them then you do not have any say in that but you can voice your thoughts. In the end it is the parent that have to decide what is best to do for their kids. If they are not working together to do the best for the kids, again, though you feel they need to do this one thing, you can not force them to come to that conclusion and work on it, they have to be willing to do so. Your husband needs to do the communication where his daughter is concerned with her mother on issues that pertain to the girl.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms