Step - power - less

Kelly - posted on 08/05/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Three (sometimes four) against one...whether I'm quiet, or engaged, I'm typically thrown under the bus - right in front of me or later with dad after I"m gone or at times I'm not evern there. It's exhausting. The kids are not believers---fight it off tooth and nail. Dad is--but he's not doing much about it. Defending me and making me off limits tot his kind of thing? I'm not sure except I was told I was glaring at the oldest the other day (I was not..for certain) and so many other things that they take a stab at me. I've been around 7 years, I have raised my own sons--well and with Faith. And now, my olvely fiance with three (11 13 and 14) wants me to marry him with this going on--but not do much about it. Feeling frustrated and outcasted---but after 7 years? (oh and the mom is an alcholic--has all but oldest daughter 1/2 time--she can be invasive and ugly. She has said terrible things about me to kids..)


MaryAnn - posted on 08/05/2015




At thirteen and fourteen... the parents dont have a whole lot of say about the childrens beliefs. They are full people capable of making those sorts of decisions for themselves. At any age, a step parent does not have a say about the spiritual influence of children, period.
Its a very touchy subject. You shouldn't be subject to disrespect in your home- but please consider this: your spiritual influence may be disrespectful to the children, no? You cant make a child believe. You cant expect them to follow beliefs and rituals without unilaterally proving to them that it is in their best interest... and that is a thing you just simply can not prove to nonbelievers.
My best advice is to keep your reservations to yourself. Dont force them to church, or to pray. Dont pressure them to do it, and do not insinuate they should, or that they are not good enough if they dont. Address the disrespect separately and without mention of your religious affiliations or beliefs.
If thats something you can not handle... you may not be in the right relationship.

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