Brooke - posted on 04/13/2017 ( 6 moms have responded )
My SO and I have been together for almost 3 years but have only lived together for 10 months. We have a blended family of 7. 5 girls, 2 boys. The older kids (all teenagers) do well together and are best friends for the most part with the exception of teenage drama.
The four younger ones, two are from my side and two from his. His two younger ones we have split custody and we are week on week off with them. My two are here all the time and spend weekends only with the other parent.
Our sons are the two youngest both 5. His other is 6 and she's in school.
Now his daughter was and is a real spoiled brat however her behavior has comes leaps and bounds in the last several months. We don't have the absolute fits anymore with her. The whining has stopped and the poor little me daddy's little baby act has stopped. She has her moments still but she gets it. We don't allow the whining poor little baby act here.
My kids have never been that way I've just never allowed it. Its one thing to be a normal kid and throw a fit here and there it's another to throw fits about everything.
My SO fed the behavior until I finally said either there will be structure with all of the kids so they learn that there are boundaries or I'm out. We were arguing over kids being in our bed, waking us up in the middle of the night, they would wake up screaming for their dad and he'd go running, then telling their dad he couldn't hold my hand, crawling in between us just so we couldn't sit next to each other, on and on it was a nightmare. I put my foot down and cracked down on everyone. There is no reason a then 4 and 6 year old should be controlling this entire house. I just wasn't going to do it. And since then most of those issues have stopped and they both understand it's not happening in this house.
The biggest issue now is his 5 year old boy. He doesn't listen ever to anyone, he hits the other kids constantly, he focuses on bullying my son, he annoys others on purpose, he's intentionally ignores any authority, and he's constantly clinging to my SO.
Again my SO was very coddling of these behaviors until I finally got through to him recently. We have both taken a united front. And his son hates it. He has realized running to daddy isn't going to work anymore. We have tried everything with this kid. Time outs for bad behaviors, sitting in his room, chore charts, behavior charts, talking, yelling(yes I know), spanking ( this is rare), everything. We are lost.
We do know that his son does not get any structure at the mothers house. She ignores him specifically and he basically does whatever he wants there. She focuses on the daughter and she's a little princess over there and can do no wrong. We believe some of this behavior is coming from there.
I also believe that he thinks that he shouldn't have to share his dad. And we have sat him down and said hey this is what we do. My son shares his mom and you share your dad. We have to share.
I know I'm at my wits end and mostly because I am a stay at home mom because my SO doesn't want me to work and I'm ok with that. But I spend all day everyday dealing with this. It's getting to the point I'm happy when fridays come and the kids leave and I dread the following Friday. I hate that and it breaks my heart because I do love them. But liking them is hard to do sometimes.
Any advice and sorry n advance for the long post.