L Jean - posted on 04/05/2015 ( 17 moms have responded )
My step-son, who has lived with his father and me since childhood is getting married. We are very happy for him. They lived with us for 9 months last year and we got to know his fiancé and treated her and considered her one of our own kids. Her childhood was spent living in more than 10 different places with her mother and siblings as her mother went from man to man. In fact the reason they moved in with us is because her mother was supposed to be paying a debt for her but instead was keeping the money and using it. My future daughter in law (DIL) found out an argument ensued and she was kicked out of the mother's house and given two days to move.
Okay so. My step-son's mom and I get along, it has been tough, but she is reasonable as am I so we work it out. The relationship with the step-son and mother has been strained due to circumstances beyond this conversation. Anyway she wanted to be involved in the wedding shower planning. I sent a private message to the bride's (crazy)mother. To graciously allow the mother to head up the bridesmaids in planning the shower (as the two (?) maids of honor were not making any plans)
Seemed to have navigated things well thus far. It didn't go well shortly thereafter. The maids of honor (friend of bride and brides sis) jumped me on a facebook conversation and basically told me that me and the mother were stressing out the bride and didn't know what she wanted. I very quickly stated I would back out of any shower arrangements and do something else with my money as well they could plan it however they saw fit. The mother followed suit the next day.
We now see that the mother and sister wanted to plan everything and have the groom's family left out.
I should mention that the mother and I were going to split the cost of the shower.
As soon as I basically stated I am out and taking my purse with me the one bridesmaid started sucking up to me. I just want out. I don't work well with crazy people.
The brides mother even had the nerve to call me a few days later and tell me that MY SON should have the wedding of his dreams and that I had better pay my share.
Did I fall into the twilight zone? Was this woman raised by wolves?
Someone help me. I am now not only not speaking to the future DIL but have declined to attend the shower. I cannot deal with crazy people. Yes I have heard a million times how it's about my son and my future DIL but I should not have to navigate this if it is affecting me emotionally to the point of panic. Why can't I bow out gracefully, stop wearing a target on my bum?