Felicia - posted on 08/17/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Me and my husband have been married a year and I have 4 kids ages 13 a girl, then three boys 11,10 and 7. My husband has a 10 yr old son whom at first wanted to come over and spend time all the time, then as he noticed us staying together and married he rarely comes over. The worst part is his dad's parents live next door to us and they have spoiled him and pay no attention to any form of structure. If he calls they go get him even if it is his home time with his mom. He runs the shows e . have implemented rules for all the kids in the house but he is made to follow none, not even by my husband. I feel this is not fair to the others. Now if he comes over it is very short, he never spends the night and leaves without saying a word, just goes in next door. Feel we are being disrespected. Me and my husband argue about this sometimes and I have been told by his mom that it is none of my business, but I feel it is because we are married and it is my house also. He doesn't help pick up toys, he says it's not his room, but he has a bed and toy box in there. He tells his grandfather that he has to fight the other kids for his dad's attention, which is a lie, 18th etc y don't hang on my husband. He tells his grandparents his dad don't love him anymore or will take sick at their house so they call his dad over, which now I go over too and then the fake sick stopped because he didn't get daddy all to himself. I'm tired of people being manipulated by him. What can I do?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/17/2015




If your husband won't enforce house rules, then he needs to visit his son in a different setting. However...YOU Don't need to be there! The kid has visitation with his dad, is it so unreasonable for him to want some ALONE time with his dad? When he comes to your house, it must seem like a zoo!

You say that he lies about access to his dad, but have you ever looked at things from his point of view? All of a sudden, not only does dad have a new spouse, and new house rules stemming from that spouse, but there are also FOUR more kids in the picture...none of them biological siblings, so he shouldn't have to share his dad time with them the ENTIRE time he is there. There actually should be a fair amount of dad/son time set aside for just the two of them.

As far as your husband's parents treatment of him: Perhaps they have an agreement with the ex daughter in law that the child can spend whatever time he wants there. You don't know that they don't. And how did his father present you to him? Did he even bother to include him n the marriage discussion, or try to blend him with the family? It really doesn't sound as if he did, and this 10 YO is floundering. All of a sudden, Dad's got a whole new ready made family that he doesn't appear to fit into.

I know exactly how that feels. EXACTLY. When he is at his grandparents, and calls for his father, you NEED TO LET DAD GO ALONE. You're effectively interfering with the time if you continue to pursue your husband to his parents and butt in to the time with his son.

I agree that the kid needs to follow house rules, but if he doesn't feel a part of the family he's not going to. What kind of family counseling have you all been to? It is always recommended to get some help before, during, and after a blend.

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