stepchildren and a new baby?

Ashley - posted on 10/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, he has a 3 year old son with a previous relationship. I dont have any children of my own, but I have a solid relationship with his son.. We recently had the talk about whether to have a baby or not. We haven't been doing anything to prevent getting pregnant, but havent done anything to try either. If it happens, it happens. my concern is if i was to get pregnant will his son feel as if my boyfriend has a new family and doesnt care for him? Will i love the children differently? Will i get jealous of the 3 year old because that means not all the attention is on my new born?

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Lacye - posted on 10/06/2012

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Yes you will get jealous but it gets easier. I used to get jealous when my husband was spending more time with my stepdaughter more than my own daughter and then I got to thinking, he sees my daughter a lot more than he does his other child. It's not fair to her for wanting him to spend all his time with my daughter. So after that day, when we actually got to see her, I would take my daughter off to the side and spend some quality time with her while he got to spend time with his daughter.

Michelle - posted on 10/06/2012

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The only one who can answer those questions is you. If you have a strong bond with the 3 year old before a baby arrives then no you will love both children equally and when his son is around it will be like having your whole family back. In the beginning it might feel like he is paying more attention to the 3 year old as most men have a hard time bonding with a baby. It's that whole fear of breaking them. As for getting jealous you may every once and awhile but you take a deep breath and remember that you love that little boy and he is as much yours as his. When you think of the step child as your own a true family can be bonded together.

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Ashley - posted on 10/06/2012

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Thank you Michelle! I guess I am nervous, this would be my first child. I feel while I'm being excited and getting ready for my first born, my boyfriend will not be as excited as hes been through this before..

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