Stepdaughter hitting my 1 year old

Shannon - posted on 01/23/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am having some issues with my SD. She is 9 going on 10. She is a wonderful little girl. We got full custody of her almost 3 years ago. Her mother is in jail for a long time. I know she suffers dearly for what her mother has done and I have done nothing but try to compensate for that but it has to stop. I had a daughter a year ago. Just recently things have been happening. The first time I went to the bathroom and then came out to a screaming baby and a bloody mouth and my SD was with her and she said she didn't know what happened. The second time I sat down for 1 second and my daughter started screaming and again my SD said I don't know what happened. Well the next morning I get my daughter up and she has a black eye. I don't know what to do because my SD is a compulsive liar. I try to tell her that accidents happen but lately I don't think it is accidental anymore. I am currently expecting another little girl in May. So there has been talk about the my SD having to share her room for a little while until we get the new baby on a sleeping schedule but I don't feel comfortable with my daughter being alone with my SD.

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Trisha - posted on 01/23/2015

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Obviously counselling is needed. Start there, and do not leave your child alone with your baby.

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Dove - posted on 01/23/2015

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She needs help... desperately. You KNOW she's done something to your child and you KNOW she's likely to lie about it.. Confronting her is just you setting her up, so you can be 'justified' in punishing her.

Definitely do not leave the baby unattended w/ her at all... for any reason or for any length of time, but I really don't think simply punishing her is going to have any impact on this situation at all.

Get her into counseling as soon as humanly possible because w/ ANOTHER baby coming soon the situation is likely to get a whole lot worse very quickly.

Trisha - posted on 01/23/2015

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I think you should speak to someone who can help you guys professionally before you start grounding her etc for this. Obviously she needs to know that it is wrong (and I know she does) but if you start acting harshly with her it might just cause the resentment towards your daughter to grow larger.
You can't act in anger towards her.
Did she grow up with a lot of violence around her?

Shannon - posted on 01/23/2015

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I am going to look into counseling for her. I think she needs to talk to someone outside of the family. I will no longer be letting my SD play with my daughter alone. I am so angry. This last incident just happened last night. When I pick the girls up from daycare I am going to confront my SD about it and if she doesn't tell me the truth she will be grounded.

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