[deleted account] ( 21 moms have responded )
I have a 9 year old stepdaughter, she will be 10 years old next month. She got to us when she was 7 years old. She has been having issues with her personla hygiene. I've showed her and told her why it's important to take care of your personal hygiene, about germs, diseases and what could happen to her if she doesn't take care of her body and also showed her pictures and websites. Before I only saw poop in her underwear because she hasn't been wiping her self really good. I told her to either get in the bath tub to wash her self or use wipes to wipe herself and make sure she cleans her self really good. I guess she hasn't been doing what i've told her to do, so now she has vaginal odor and greenish and brownish color discharge. When i took her to the doctor, she said she has vaginitis, that her vagina is irritated and she could see some discharge in her vagina. She gave her some cream that I'm supposed to apply on her vagina after showers. So when we went home I told her to go take a shower to we can apply the cream on her, when she laid on her bed and open her legs, her vagina had some dirt around her vaginal lips. I was so disgusted. So I found out again that she still hasn't been taking care of her issues, so I had to take her to the doctor again, and the doctor said and Vaginitis again and she said the cream isn't going to help, she just has to make sure she cleans her privates like how she's supposed to. My husband and I are in the Military, he is currently deployed right now, so he's not here to help me discipline her or to get her act together, and my husband and I also have two younger children, a 3 year old and a 3 month old. The other things I'm having issues with her are, she constantly lies to me about almost everything and she's sneaky. She is also jealous of my daughter's hair, my husband is black and mixed with native american and I'm filipino, so my dauther's hair is black, straight and her ends are curly. She's always saying she wishes her hair was like Jordyn's because her hair is really thick and I don't get to do much to it because I don't know how to do her kind of hair but I have my sister in law who's staying with me right now doing her hair. She's also jealous because everybody says her half sister is very pretty, has pretty eyes with long eyelashes and pretty hair and they praise her too. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful too, and I make sure I tell her that all the time and that's she's very intelligent. She also tries to hurt my daughter, one time they were playing in her sister's room with a balloon, she popped hers so she wanted to play with her sister's balloon, I guess she was trying to grab it from her but my dauther didn't want to let it go, so she decided to cover her sister's mouth and then when her sister was trying to let go from her, she pushed her on the floor and her sister hit her head on the floor, then that's when my daughter started screaming and crying. I also found out that she's been wearing my daughter's underwear and the washes it and puts it back in my daughter's drawer to wear. She's also not doing good in school, especially her math, we did tutoring, bought her math books, cards but it wasn't helping her at all. When I talked to her teacher, she said she's been passing notes in class, drawing, or playing with stuff under her desk and she seats in the front and she hides her homework!!! She just keeps acting up, when I asked her why she's acting up, she told me it's because her daddy's not here, but she's been like this before my husband deployed and it just got worse after he deployed. She also tells me she only listens to me sometimes but not all the time and when I asked her about her personal hygiene, she told me because she's not used to that, even though i've been telling her and showing her how she's supposed to take care of her self. I really do not know what to do with her any more, Ive had other people talk to her about personal hygiene, nurses, doctors, friends, but she's still the same. I just had my son 3 months ago, I'm stressed out, I was diagnosed with depression and I'm trying to deal with 3 kids at home and my husband being deployed. She's still not doing what's supposed to do, still lying, and she also does not do her chores, unless we tell her to. My husband also isn't really helping because he only tells her to get her act together, or she tells me I need to start being a parent or I need to start treating her like she's my own child or like how i treat our daughter. I do, i've spent time with her, talked to her, we went to places but the stuff that she's been doing, she just started pushing me away. I don't know what to do anymore.