Stepmom

Ana - posted on 05/16/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've been having a difficult time as a stepmom. I am newly married however my husband and I have been together for 6 years. I've been apart of his son's life since his son just turned 3. I'm not a stranger at all to his son however as of recent his son behavior towards me has been hurtful and heartbreaking. He completely ignores me in public. When I take him to his baseball games or practices he doesn't acknowledge me or say hi. His bio mom is team mom and for some reason I feel that has something to do with it. His mom and I don't get along. He's a heavy drinker and partier. She's in a new relationship all the time and moves into whatever boyfriends she has at the times home with her son. We have shared custody of him. Three days out of the week she keeps him and four days we do.
Yesterday my stepson had an after school program to go to. I went to pick it up, but because it was after hours I had to go through the office and show ID to get him. Well there was a LONG line of parents awaiting to do this, I waited over 45 min of finally getting up to the office I came to learn that I was not listed as a person who has the right to pick up my stepson. Which is completely startling to me because I was he one who took my stepson to his teacher meeting at the beginning of year and filled out paperwork. Turns out his mom filled out a new contact form and removed me. However she had a friend listed as an person who's allowed to pick up her child. This friend lives 30 min away and the bio mom is on goods terms and bad terms with this person all the time. I live 2 seconds from the school I was removed to pick up my stepson. I was totally stunned and upset, and hurt bythis. I don't know how to let go of this constant frustration I have for her and how to deal with my step son's new behavior towards me.

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Lili - posted on 05/17/2014

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It's pretty hard not to have contact with ex. That's another issue I'm having. My husbands closest and oldest friends are really close with the ex. Parties, gatherings, just about every weekend she's around. I chose not to go to a lot of stuff because I truly don't want to be around her. He doesn't understand. I don't know how to make him understand. She's done some pretty disrespectful things to is and our family, and I honestly don't want hang out with her.

Lili - posted on 05/17/2014

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He's had talks with both his son and his ex about his sons behavior and the school thing. The reason I filled out the forms at the begining of the year was because my husband was out of town and his mom was working. Things needed to be filled out when I took him to meet his teacher. Both my husband and and his ex agree that his son needs to treat me with more respect but I know that you can control anyone's behavior.

Michelle - posted on 05/16/2014

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What is your husband doing in all this?
You don't have to have contact with his ex, he should be making all the contact with her. Also your husband needs to let the school know that you do have permission and that if the ex wants to change any forms they are to contact him immediately. Being the step mother you shouldn't be filling in the paperwork for him, his father should be.

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