Kaitlynn - posted on 09/13/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )
My fiance and I are very concerned with his daughters well being. He has joint custody with his ex-wife and the only reason he didn't fight for primary custody was his lawyer told him he'd never get it. We're concerned because his daughter has failed every year of school but her BM has pushed her through to the next grade every year, this year she started 3rd grade. She comes to us for Christmas and summer every year. In between those times BM won't let her talk to her dad, won't tell him if she has to have any medical care, for example the CAT scan we found out about after she used his insurance for it, and BM just took him to court to try and cut him out almost completely. She wanted him to only get 5 weeks a year with his daughter. Her justification being that she doesn't get enough time with his daughter to help her with school and that's why she's failing.
I don't believe that's the case at all. His daughter has told us that her stepdad spanks her and she's got a scar on her forehead that she doesn't remember getting but BM makes her wear bangs to cover it. When we questioned BM about it her exact words were "She lies. She lies all the time. She just wants attention. Stop giving in to her." To me that just sends up a huge red flag, most moms don't say their kids lie, most moms get irate if you don't believe their kids. His daughter is also TERRIFIED of police officers. I mean shaking scared. She says its because BM tells her they'll arrest her. Her pediatrician here says she has a learning disability and needs to be screened but BM won't do it. BM wouldn't even let his daughter wear glasses when the doc said she needed them. And BM won't get her an updated prescription after we took his daughter to get glasses a couple years ago. My fiance also cannot access his daughters school records, the reason the school board gave him is that her mother is the only custodial parent they have on file. He also has had to call the police dept where BM lives to have them do a health and welfare check on his daughter cause its been weeks since he's heard from her. And BM lies to the police about it, saying he does get to talk to her he's just trying to cause problems. BM also doesn't allow his daughter to have a choice in anything. Not even her clothes. BM flat out tells his daughter she doesn't have a choice. And the final thing is his daughter absolutely NEVER gets passionate about anything, most kids will have various types of tantrums about things they really really want, his daughter never does she just backs down and gives up. The only time she ever even cries is when she tells her dad bye and has to go back to her BM. She does not cry when she leaves her BM and BEGS us not to make her talk to BM when BM calls while she's here.
What can we do to try and get her switched to our primary care? So that hopefully we can help her. Any advice?