[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )
I have 3 teenagers and my husband has 3 children in their early twenties. We have no children together. We have been together for 7 years, married for 6 so all of his children were in their late teens when we met. Their bio-mom (never actually married to my husband) has been married for about 14 years to another man, whom she had the kids call "dad", which my husband doesn't seem to be really bothered by because they call him dad also. Anyway, one of my stepdaughters moved in with us when she was 18, now 24 and we have grown close. She calls me by my first name, which I really wouldn't expect otherwise but I refer to her as my daughter, unless the situation calls for specifics. Her mother won't acknowledge me as a parent figure of any sort. When my stepdaughter got married, my stepdaughter wanted me with her on her day but her mom wouldn't hear of it. When my stepdaughter's new in-laws told her that she was now part if their family and like one of their own daughters she made a point to grab her arm and tell everyone that she was HER daughter. She has also told my stepdaughter that when she has a child that she, her mom, will not let me hold the baby. My stepdaughter doesn't feel the same way but her mother gives her nothing but misery over everything. It breaks my heart to see her cry or be upset, let alone by her own mother! I want to say something to bio-mom but don't so my stepdaughter won't be miserable. I didn't even get to be in any of the wedding pics because of her. How would you handle this situation? And how could she possibly think acting this way is right, especially since she had her kids call the stepdad "dad"?