M - posted on 09/12/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi there. I have two stepsons, 13 and 15. They recently told us that they only want to visit every other month. They were living out of state until the last 3 years when their mother moved back. She moved them away when they were babies. My husband and I have two children, 2 years and 7 months. My two year old adores her brothers and cries every time they leave. We have them every other weekend. As it stands now, the boys' mother says they can visit as little as they want. I'm struggling because I want to have a good relationship with the boys and I want them to have a good relationship with my husband and their siblings... I felt closer to the boys before we got married. Their mother doesn't like me to get too close. Also, my husband gets stressed out easily and used to have a very short fuse. He has been in therapy for over a year now and is really doing well. The boys' mother has used this against him and now the oldest is using it against him as well saying he is too stressed out. On top of this, my father just passed away so things are heavier here than usual but I don't want the boys to pull away. I should also mention that the oldest has gotten himself into a lot of trouble this last year so I'm wondering if this is a way for him to gain more freedom. I'm not sure, I just don't want to be even more distant than we already are and I want my kids to have a relationship with their brothers. I'm not sure what to do though to be honest, I don't think I have any say in it. Any thoughts would be appreciated.