still

Msmabern - posted on 06/04/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

10

0

1

I had my stillbith at 39 week,i was also induced at gave birth 4 hour later and went home without my baby boy.
i had anxiety attacks after five days which were so strong i thought i was dying.that became a problem for about four months,where one of my friends insisted that i go to the Dr and tell the doctor that i have stress.

i had a problem with eating and drinking water.that resulted in ulcer(was feeling hot in the stomach). i became so thin that everybody would stare at me when i was passingby(was size42 and then 36)

i nearly died because of loosing my child.

as if that was not enough.my husband became sick on the 14 january 2013 and died on the 28 January.his family is is saying that mean(death)we had sex much earlier after our stillbirth.a man cannot died within 12 months after his wife had stillbirth,if it happens then that means sex was resumed much earlier. we had sex after 12 weeks because of the anxiety i had even though the Dr said we can resume sex after our 6 weeks postp checkup.

this is so devastating.i am without a child after 39 weeks of pregnancy,after loosing my child 10 months later iam without a husband. i think his family is trying kill me emotionally or physcically expecially about what happened after i lost my child,they know i cant handle this

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Luludi - posted on 06/05/2013

22

0

6

Dearest, I can't find words that can soothe you for the incredible disgrace you've been through... But about your in-laws, I can say that cruelty and meanness have no limits with some people! And never heard of such absurdities of course! what is it, some kind of superstition? However, have you got your family and friends near you? If so, your misfortune has cut all of your bonds with those nasty people, why don't you just send them to....out of your life?
May God and your two angels help you.

4 Comments

View replies by

Msmabern - posted on 06/06/2013

10

0

1

Hello Luludi

thanks for the infomation and support,it has been a long time that i needed someone to talk to.yes it is a culture thing but i also don't understand it. we have a nurse at home who doesn't understand it too.

They just want to put the blame on me that i killed him.

i am in South Africa.

Luludi - posted on 06/05/2013

22

0

6

Hello! I'm happy to know you have a numerous family and other children! I wanted to apologize if I was harsh about the fact of having sex after giving birth. Now I think it may be sth belonging to your culture so I had no right of dismissing it that way. However, I'm sure it wasn't because of that! I can assure you that in half the world this isn't considered a problem, doctors would have told us. The only issue is whether the woman is ready, and here I have heard about 6 weeks but it is the wife that may incur in some problem, never heard of risks for the husband. My husband is a doctor....he wouldn't have risked ;-). And my friend got pregnant 1 MONTH after childbirth, and her husband (another doctor) is pretty well...
And after all, also your doctor told you it was from totally different causes. So tell your in laws to let you alone on that.

Msmabern - posted on 06/05/2013

10

0

1

Thanks Luludi!!! yes i have three boys aged 18 ,16, and 8 and my Mother and Father and my 5 siblings.they are all supportive, they are always arround. i thought maybe i was mislead by this thing of waiting for six weeks, but i said to myself but i waited for 12 weeks not six weeks. and they said it should have been 3 to 4 months not 12 weeks and i said 12 weeks is moes 3 months and they said not really.but after i went through the internet to check if there are mommies who had sex after six weeks or before 3 months, i found a lot of them who even had sucessful pregnacies within six weeks and their husbands are still alive.

the Dr said my Husband is suffering from Pneumonia, he was having shortness of breath and the belly/stomach below the belly button was moving fast as he was breathing..it was not long that he did the diabetes and he was fine not diabetic. Dr didn't do the diabetes test they did it when they saw that the condition is not getting better only to find it later that he has diabetic.

Thanks Luludi,thanks a lot!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms