Still trying to potty train my four and a half year old; please help!

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

Alright, I've had a lot of trouble trying to potty-train my daughter since she was 3 1/2. She still has daytime accidents, at school, and at home, and she still needs to wear diapers at night because she has constant nighttime accidents at home. The problem is. She tends to want to play until the last second before she bolts to the bathroom, sometimes she has a accident on the way there, sometimes she makes it, but, she almost never gets her clothes off in-time, she rarely ever uses the potty. When she does manage to get clothes her off, I sometimes notice that her undies have a wet spot on them from her peeing herself a little, and I have to change her into new ones. Now, she's recently started to pee herself without even trying to make it to the bathroom, whether it's just enough to wet her panties, or, enough to completely soak her clothes, she does not seem to care; I think it has to do with this new toy I got her.... I've tried everything to pull her away from playing so that she can go potty on the potty like taking her toys, or constantly reminding her, but, nothing seems to work. One thing I started doing fairly recently is only putting her in skirts and dresses so that she can pull her undies down faster. I've taken her to the doctor multiple times, and nothing serious was found, the doctor just said she might be too focused on playing. When I ask her if she does it on purpose, she says no, and, I just ask her what to do when she wants to go potty, and, she responds with "tell mommy". When I asked the doctors for advice, they all gave me the same advice, saying that it would probably be a good idea to just put her back in diapers for a little while, and try to re potty-train her. It seems like that's the only reasonable choice at this point, but, does anyone know how to bring that up to her, or, does anyone have any other suggestions I could try before, or, while I'm doing so?

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Stephanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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I would just tell her flat out how it's going to work, & stick with it even if she's whiny. I just suggested the cloth diapers so she still feels "wet" & "icky" so she'd have more incentive to not sit in her wet clothes.

Stephanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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Isabell, you know your daughter better than anyone, so it really is your decision. All I can say is how I would handle it. I would think putting underwear over diapers would stretch out the undies & make them unwearable after.
If she enjoys her princess undies, you could try telling her that if she doesn't start going to the potty like a big girl, she won't be allowed to wear big girl panties any longer. (They have cloth pre-fold diapers at walmart with plastic underwear you could put over them, Just a thought.)

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Stephanie - posted on 05/31/2014

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Good! I'm glad the stickers are working. Stick to your rule about no accidents for a week. That will really make her keep wanting to go potty like a big girl. Don't give up! It may get way more difficult before it gets easier, but just stick to it. Don't go back on your rule, no matter what. You got this.

[deleted account]

Hey there again; she did pretty good today. She's starting to tell me when she needs to go potty again (she really likes the stickers)! The only problem is now that she's still telling me at the last second when she needs to go potty. She really wants to wear her princess undies again, and, she's been asking me to do so frequently, so, I told her that if she wanted to wear her undies again, she needs to have no accidents for a week strait, but, if she has another accident after she wears undies again, she's going to be put strait back into diapers. So far, after I told her that, she's been telling me more often that she needs to go potty, but, she still has some accidents, although, they're becoming a lot less frequent, and she's actually starting to make it to the potty every once and a while! So, everything is working out just fine, and she's getting there!

[deleted account]

Thanks for all the advice. I went ahead and told her and changed her into one of her diapers just now; she was a bit whiny, but, I'm going to stick with it just like you said. Also, thanks again for the cloth diaper suggestion, but, I think I'm still going to go ahead and stick with the ones she already has. Anyways, thank you so much for all your help!

[deleted account]

Thanks for all your help! I never actually thought about them stretching out until now.... I think what I'll do is just go with what you said, but, cloth diapers kinda defeats the purpose of diapering her considering I still have to clean them other then the fact that she won't wet the floor. :/ With that being said, I'm just going to stick with the Pampers Baby Dry diapers she has in her closet right now, and do the whole sticker chart idea! Do you have any suggestions on how to bring it up to her, if possible, in a way where she won't be be too upset about it? Thanks again! (Lots of hugs) :)

Stephanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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1/2 sticker for trying, whole sticker for going in time, and if she continues to use the potty consistently like a big girl, she gets to wear her princess undies again. (That's just how I would handle that situation.)

[deleted account]

Hey, thanks for the advice Stephanie! I was thinking about what you said, and, I think you're right but, the problem is, I constantly have to clean her up. She seems to really enjoy wearing her undies because her favorite princess characters are on them. I was thinking that maybe I could let her wear her undies over her diapers as a reward every time she goes to the potty. She also does enjoy stickers, so, maybe a sticker if she makes it and, half a sticker if she tries like you said? Do you think that might be something I could try since it still gives her a reason to go? (Hugs back) :)

Stephanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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Personally, I wouldn't put her back in diapers, because that will give her less reason to use the potty. Diapers wick away all the moisture anyway, so why would she want to go to the potty if she doesn't feel wet? I would try to gauge when she needs to go potty & make her go. Maybe set up a sticker chart or other reward system for when she makes it on time? (Or a half-sticker if she at least tries to make it.) If that doesn't work, I would speak with a psychiatrist or counselor to see if there's maybe an underlying issue at play here. I hope this helps. (Hugs)

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