Sara - posted on 04/02/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
It is our sole duty to be there to protect our children. If you suspect abuse, If your child is coming to you or has come to someone else stating abuse, if you notice behavioral changes and have any inkling of abuse, DO NOT IGNORE IT! Don't bury your head in the sand to save your own relationship with a potential abuser. Protect your children. Believe your children. Stand by your children. Don't let them get hurt. They are more likely to be abused by a member of their own family or close circle than a stranger. FOLLOW YOUR GUT! If I had followed my gut when I first felt an uneasy feeling, my niece may have not had to endure abuse at the hands of my grandfather for as long as she did. I had no idea what she was going through, but a look he gave her once, that I saw, made me feel uneasy. Her behavioral problems were classic, by the book signs of sexual abuse. She was begging to be saved and no one noticed because we were naive. "This could never happen to our family". Had I talked to her then, she may have been saved from 6 additional months of agony at his hands. I'll never forgive myself for not questioning sooner. I stress this open communication and making sure your child feels safe to come to you. I've read some of the posts on here of mothers unsure whether they should stay with their husbands that have been accused or found guilty of abuse. Or mothers who are un sure they should send their children with their father. I can not fathom this thought. Imagine the emotional damage done to the child already hurting to see their own mother side with their abuser. Essentially, you are delivering the lamb to the lion. Put your children first. I'm a mother. I understand the pain of cutting off someone you love. My grandfather raised me. I was never abused by him. He was my friend when I became an adult. We were very close. I was heartbroken when this came about, but not once did I ever question my niece. I've not spoken to him ever since. He's no longer a part of my life. As a mother my main concern was protecting my child and standing by the ones hurt in this situation. He is not the victim. He is a pedophile. He is a monster that conned people to trust him so he can abuse innocents. See the abusers for what their are, not who you want them to be. The man who raised me, died the day I learned of who he really was. I hope you find the strength to do the right thing for your children. Be their warriors. Be their shields.