Stopping/discouraging whining

Brendan - posted on 07/15/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi, im actually a father I hope thats ok with everyone and your still willing to help me my son just turned two and hos mother and I are trying to raise him the bwst we can as new parents we have had few issue's that we haven't been able to solve or figure out with our own research and help from friends however as of the past two or three months my sons whining has been out of control is there any hints or tips that anyone has that may be able to help make this easier on all of us I thank you all in advance and again I hope its ok I joined your site
Brendan

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/15/2014

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With my kids, the rule was 'no whining'. If they'd start, I would look at them, calmly state "I cannot understand you when you whine, please ask appropriately". If they continue, calmly tell them "until you can ask without whining, we will not be _______ (whatever they're whining about". If it's the 'i don't WANT to' whine, calmly state that what they WANT at this time isn't the point, but what NEEDS TO BE done.

Other than that, ditto Chet's response ;-)

This, too, shall pass, although it will crop up from time to time...yes, even teenagers whine...LOL...

And, I have to admit, sometimes I feel like it too! You'll do fine. Just remember, as with all things child related, patience, redirection, and consistency are your best friends!

Chet - posted on 07/15/2014

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Best case scenario: When he whines help him rephrase what he's trying to say using an appropriate voice. If he whines for a drink of water you very nicely ask him to say "water please" instead. Clearly demonstrate how his voice should sound. He doesn't get the water until he uses an appropriate voice and appropriate language to ask for it.

Second best option: If he's not in the mood to use a non-whiny voice, and the thing he wants is something you have to give him, at the very least, model the correct voice and how he should have asked. He whines for help putting on his shoes, and you know if you insist he say "help please" he's just going to throw himself on the floor and have a tantrum and you'll be late, just say, "let's say, help please" and then I can help you".

Bad day option: Appreciate that he's a toddler. Poor behaviour is often the result of being tired, or hungry or overstimulated. If he's whining for something he can't have, and he's tired or cranky, just distract him. End the whining by singing a song, or playing a clapping game, or tickling each other.

The thing is, you can't nag toddlers into good behaviour. They copy like crazy so model what you want them to do. Also, they aren't super rational so try to orchestrate things as much as possible to avoid trouble spots. If he whine for candy every time you go through the checkout at the grocery store stop taking him to the grocery store.

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