Shurlee - posted on 08/04/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )
So I am at work today & I get a BBM msg from my sister asking me to call her.. and it's about my son.
Now some history. My son is 17yrs old- will be 18 in Nov this year. Over the course of his 17yrs he has never wanted for anything. My rules were simple [a] go to school -or- [b] get a job.
It was explained to him that if he stayed in school, his clothing, books, food, hobbies and such would all be looked after. Weekends and holidays he would have off.
Well.. it seems he doesn't want to do either of his 2 choices. instead he would stay in his room- skip school & be on his laptop with Skype open & other games. With zero respect this child would be asked to keep it down while others slept- with no avail.
Now going forward- my solution as a single parent was to send my son to a shelter for youth. At this shelter they would put him into routine.. days he had to be out of the residence.. meals were made for them & he was even set up with Ontario works [welfare]. Well 2 weeks later I caved as a mother & let him come back home. Since that first experience... I have kicked my son out of the house 3 other times. Currently- my son is living on the streets- unwilling I might add to go to the adult shelters in the area. For some reason .. he was unable to attend the youth shelter again [which is the best place for him]
As for mom.. [me] my mental health has taken a dive after dealing with all this. I feel horrible.. but I've had enough of this self abuse. After watching my son deteriorate in his room over time- has caused me into a depression. He isn't healthy for me to have around- I keep reminding myself of this fact.
Further notes on my son.. I didn't mention the fact that he has completely disrespected my property- food and garbage in his clothes.. under his bed [and its more like hoarding style] feces in his jeans and underwear.. and smeared on his 50-75 dollar t-shirts that were thrown in his closet under other items... tim hortons iced coffee drinks with mold floating on the top of them [several] and the BO smell as he wouldn't care for himself.
back to mom again... In fact.. I cleaned out his room 4 times & gave him a fresh start- new bed- mattress.. bedding.. everything & it didn't seem to matter.
Anyways.. back to the top to continue..
So my son has now reached out to my sister asking if he can do laundry there- or stay a night. My sister feels put in the middle of all this- I am over stressed.
Why is it.. I feel like the bad mom here? My son is highly manipulative & knows how to work the system and the people around him - yet he's soo disconnected from reality
HELP! :( I honestly feel like I can't help this kid outside of giving up on him and letting him hit rock bottom