MOST HELPFUL POSTS
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 12/15/2014
Love makes a family. If the step parents are involved, and loved, then it's up to them and the person that they're in the relationship with to determine their 'name'.
My stepdad wasn't in our family prior to my first pregnancy, but he's still grandpa to both my kids. My husband's stepdad wasn't even really involved with us a lot, but our kids still called him grandpa, and miss him since he's passed away.
My dad's 2nd wife was part of the family since I was in HS, so she got to choose whether she wanted to be called grandma or something else. His 3rd wife came along well after our kids were born and in elementary school, and she's referred to as "grandpa's wife", or "trophy bitch". (Or "gold digger"...depending on her actions)
If YOU don't get along with your step parent, that is between you and that person. Be the adult. Fix the problem, work through it. Teach your children how to handle relationships, even if you don't necessarily want to be involved, or could care less about that person.
Mommabird - posted on 12/14/2014
My husband is a step parent to my 23 and 24 yr old sons. I have one grand daughter and she calls me Grammy and my husband is Papaw. I am a step mom to a 10 yr old girl and she calls my mom Nana Judy. With either situation there has never been a question as to who is blood related and who isnt...its family that loves them just as much as the blood relatives and we wouldnt have it any other way. Children need that kind of love, unconditional love , regardless of blood relation or not. Some people dont realize how important grandparents are to children.
Jodi - posted on 12/13/2014
I guess another way to look at it is this....would you want the step-parent treating your children's babies differently, than the children of his/her biological children? Or do you think all the grandchildren, both biological and step, should be treated equally?
Jodi - posted on 12/13/2014
My son calls my husband's parents Grandpa and Nanny - no blood relations.
My step-kids call my parents Nanny and Poppy - no blood relations.
It is a term of respect, love and endearment for the grandparent figures in their life.Blood has nothing to do with it.
I've been in my step-children's lives since they were young children. Why can't 15 years of care and nurture mean something?
Sounds like you have some sort of beef against your ex's partner to me, and are trying to insist she not be called grandma. That really isn't your call, and I'm sorry you feel the need to be bitter about it.
Linda - posted on 08/21/2016
I agree with you Joyce. Whatever happened to simply calling the step-parent by their 1st name as Dad and Sheila or Mom and Terry as our parents did to distinguish difference in bloodlines too? It seems like it is being made way too complicated for the children. I was married to my new husband with his children by another lady. When my husband became a Grandpa, I did not take the title of Grandma. I feel that was reserved to the bio-Grandmother. I referred "Jason" as Bob and Donna's Grandson, which was true and he called me by my 1st name. Very simple and respectful to everyone & not stepping on anyone's toes either.
Sanelle - posted on 12/16/2014
I have two kids of my own and two step kids. My kids love both their step parents and I know my 9 year old is considering starting to call them Mum and Dad. Neither me nor my ex have a problem with it and in fact, if the kids are comfortable with it, we will encourage it. I call both my step parents Mum and Dad, but, I know, that didn't happen until I was about ten - so 7 years of marriage for my mother. My kids always tell their step parents they love them. My step kids are different. Yes, they are older than my kids, but most of the time I'm just considered as their dad's wife, house cleaner, someone who gets their laundry done - or that is how I feel. Specially with my step daughter. I'm used to it now. My kids call all their grand parents Nanna, Grangrad (nick name for Grandpa), Ouma, Oupa etc. Nobody feels upset about it. For me it's a sign of respect, love and acceptance. If the "step-inlaws" treat your kids as their own grankids, I think they have the "right" be to addressed by the right title. Blended families are hard, but if you work together it can work.
So to answer your question, I do not think it's about attention. I think if they are good to the kids, they have earned their titles :)
Ev - posted on 12/13/2014
I think the step kids and step grands should be treated equally. But in the case such as the one my kids are in, that is hard to see happening. There is like two sides to their father and step mom. They have one for public view and one for private view and I have seen both. My son has always told me from the beginning that his step mom never really wanted him around. Kids know those things. His sis got better treatment for a while but when the babies came (girls) they (the parents) took advantage of her being the eldest and used that to make her babysit and be the housekeeper without asking her first.
Michelle - posted on 12/13/2014
I agree with the others. My boys call my husband's parents Oma and Opa, that's what our daughter calls them so it's easier. It's also a sign of respect and love. My boys have been accepted into their family like their own. To me that's the way it should be, why discriminate between blood and step? That's just cruel for the children.
Ev - posted on 12/13/2014
It really depends on the situation for one thing. My ex and his wife act like they get along well with me in public but in private they do not. The relationship that my kids have with their father and step mom is not good. Though step mom calls the babies her grandkids I beg to differ with her on that. She has not treated my kids the way she should have from the start and I do not think she needs to be called grandma. But that is actually up to my daughter and her husband on what that is considered. I have no significant other so there is no step grandfather on my side of the family. But if the relationships were better, I would have no trouble sharing that spotlight with a step mom who actually did care.
Sarah - posted on 12/13/2014
Maybe because it is just easier? I am not sure of your situation? Do you have a baby and you do not want your own step parent identified as grandma or grandpa? Or is it a blended family where the bio-kids use the terms but you don't want the step kids to use the terms?
Do you have a suggestion? To have a child address a step grandparent as Mr or Mrs or by the first name seems awkward.
Join Circle of Moms
Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.Join Circle of Moms