struggling parents with a little girl with odd

Melissa - posted on 11/07/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi...I'm a mom of 2 girls. And my 6 year old has been diagnosed with odd. I need help with how to deal with it. My husband and I are so lost and to see my beautiful daughter so angry breaks my heart. Help

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Melissa - posted on 11/07/2013

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Thank u so much. Yes she had a in home therapist who did art therapy with her. She was no help to my daughter and my husband and I. So we just let her go. The therapist refused to LISTEN to us and told our case manager we were bullying her and to strict!!!!! I think asking your 6 year old to go play with her toys is not to much to ask. To have respect and follow directions is not hard either. Especially when she's done it all her life. I had a baby in Sept 2012 and her grandmother....my mom...moved away from us. So ever since April she's gone down hill. Very angry.....trantrums last over an hour. And it's very draining. I'm going to contact my health insurance to see if they can refer me to see some one. Her Dr is no help...so a lot of times I feel hopeless. We are thinking about keeping her so busy after school that she will be to tired to whine. Her therapist is the one who told me she has ODD.

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Ok. Yeah I would ask to have some further evaluations done, just to rule out anything else that might be contributing. And definitely keep looking for a new therapist. We got lucky and got great therapists for my son the first time around, but I have been told that it's not uncommon for parents to decide it's just not a good fit and looking for someone else, so good for you for recognizing that with the first one! Your daughter needs to have good chemistry with her therapist to have a good working relationship, and you need to feel comfortable with them, too. But also keep in mind, that there still may be things they feel you are doing that are ineffective or even counterproductive, so keep an open mind. :)

Melissa - posted on 11/07/2013

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I am on Facebook and did start my own group for parents who have kids with odd.

[deleted account]

Who diagnosed her? Was it her pediatrician or a therapist? I'm just wondering, did whoever diagnosed her offer any plan of action to address the diagnosis?? If she's not already in therapy that would be my first suggestion. You can read all the parenting books and online advice in the world, but so much of the classic discipline theories just don't work with these kids. My second suggestion would be to consider a more extensive behavioral evaluation to see if there is anything else going on as well. I also have a little boy who we think may have ODD. It was suggested to us by the occupational therapist my other son sees. I've read definitions and descriptions of ODD since then, and it sounds just like my son! We are currently in the process of having a formal evaluation done through Easter Seals, and when I told our coordinator this possible diagnosis was already suggested to us, her response was, "UGH! I hate that diagnosis! Not that it isn't valid, but when a child is that extreme in their behavior, there is always a reason." Basically she told me it's very possible he has ODD, but that that should not be considered an end diagnosis alone, that it is most likely accompanied by something else as well. I'd never thought of it that way, but it makes so much sense. We knew our son had some sensory difficulties and high anxiety, but he's always functioned well in social settings and has always been ahead developmentally so we never had any evaluations or tests done. But now, what we assumed was "terrible twos" is still a big problem at the age of four. Until recently I just kept scouring books and internet for parenting advice and different ideas how to deal with problem behaviors and such, but truly nothing seems to work...because it's all geared toward the "average" kid. But these kids have some extra struggles that the average kids doesn't have, and often a higher intelligence, which makes classic discipline difficult because they are prone to question and test EVERYTHING to extremes that the average kids won't. The great thing about therapy is that it offers (and teaches you) strategies more personalized to YOUR specific situation and HER personality. My third suggestion (again, if you haven't done it already) would be to consider if there's any possible food allergies. I'm learning that a lot of kids with behavioral disorders like this have allergies or sensitivities, commonly gluten, dairy, or eggs, or some combination of those. In addition, you could definitely start by eliminating as much processed foods, refined sugars, and artificial dyes as possible. This helps with a lot of kids. And lastly, PATIENCE. :) Trust me, I totally know how you feel. It is so hard to see your child struggling emotionally at such a young age. And often you feel like nothing you're doing helps them. The thing they need most is patience and understanding. I'm definitely not saying to just allow bad behavior or spoil her, but in all of your discipline be mindful of her struggles and look for any opportunity to encourage and affirm her as well. And look for support groups on here specifically for ODD. Facebook has some too, if you are on Facebook. It's comforting to be connected to other who know what you're going through. Hang in there, mama!

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