Struggling with my developmentally delayed daughter... Any advice/help would be appreciated.

Dianna - posted on 09/03/2013 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My daughter Alexis is 2 1/2 years old... Right before she turned 2 we were referred to have her hearing tested because she had not started talking yet. Her hearing was tested and came back normal however the ear nose and throat specialist advised us we should have her tested for autism. Of course my world came crashing down on me in March we took her to a developmental specialist who advised us that she is not autistic but she does have a speech delay and developmental delay. To this day it is still hard to cope with this. We have our good days and we have our bad days I no longer work anymore so I can be home with her to help with her delays. We also recently started getting help with a early intervention program. She gets one speech therapy session and 2 developmental therapy sessions a month. As it is I have never really been a patient person and dealing with her delays has really challenged me. We don't have any other kids in our family she has a 6 year old cousin but that's about it and she does interact with him other than that she really has no interaction with kids. Being a first time mother as she was growing I wasn't really sure what milestones she should be hitting and when she should be hitting them until she really didn't crawl or walk until she was 1yr old and then of course she was not talking. If I knew then what I know now I'm sure things would be different with her. It's hard for me not to feel guilty, frustrated, and sad for her. She also gets frustrated because she can't tell me what she wants and I can never guess the right thing that she wants. Sometimes I find myself losing hope and faith on our bad days. And I often find myself wondering if she'll ever live a normal life. She has been picking up on a few things. She knows how to show is how old she is with her fingers. She has always said "yeah" for anything and everything. And she recently picked up the word "coo-coo" and "mum". She loves to dance, she loves books and she loves watching the Disney junior channel. She makes me smile and laugh. Any advice/suggestions/tips would be appreciated. Thank you for your time in reading this. - Dianna

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Joanne - posted on 09/04/2013

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This is incredible because I know of a 3 yr old that didn't speak a single word and her mother also feared that her daughter may be autistic. It turned out that she wasn't autistic after all. This story is in a book called, "The child that wouldn't talk!" it is at at new website which I don't know if I can mention it here. But oh well, it's called
truekidsstories.org

Rebekah - posted on 09/03/2013

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Baby Einstein has a video on sign language that is very engaging for little ones and covers some of the basic words. Repetition is key in helping them to learn language, spoken and signed. Good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 09/04/2013

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Its crazy to hear your story because i know it all too well. My son is now 8 and still doesn't talk.he now uses an ipad to communicate. A good resource is therapy toys for younger kids. Beyondplay.com is a great website my sons therapist told me about when he was 2. Hope this helps.

Dianna - posted on 09/03/2013

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Yes we've been working on sign language with her... She's having a hard time with it tho. We've been trying sign language for 2 weeks now. The therapist also gave me a sheet with more sign language signs. It's hard because she will shake her head no if she doesn't want something but if its something she wants she will get super excited and that's how we know she wants that.

Tawanna - posted on 09/03/2013

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my daughter is 3 and is developmentally delayed. it takes a lot of time. first see if you can get her therapy sessions increased to every week instead of a couple of times a month. create a sensory room, i can help with some ideas i have done the same for my daughter. my daughter started preschool for special needs children today. find one in your area. early intervention is until the child is 3, depending on her birthday and when services started, you can ask for an extension of her services as well as have them increased. feel free to keep me posted. i'll help in any way i can

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Debra - posted on 09/04/2013

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Hi I am new to this and I really don't know how to start. But by just saying I am 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. He has a Chromosomal Abnormality called Trisomy 18. Is suppose to be considered not compatible with life. But I have faith and hope that He may prove them wrong. I am distraught because my new Boyfriend and I are in our 40"s and he doesn't have any other kids (this is his first), and if Dominick doesn't make it ,He doesn't want to try again. I feel like we got a raw deal and Should try again. What do you" all think???

Tiffany - posted on 09/04/2013

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I hear you on that one. I have the same type of days your talking about where i wanna pull my hair out. Support is key and a sitter or (grandma) on the bad days to get a break

Dianna - posted on 09/04/2013

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Wow thanks Tiffany I will definitely look into that!!! I'm so glad I joined here and I am able to communicate with other moms that are dealing with what I have to deal with... It's so easy for other moms to tell me to be patient, everything with be okay blah blah blah but nobody really knows what I have to go through on a daily basis with Alexis not all days are bad we really do have a lot of good days so I'm not complaining... It's just really hard to cope with on the bad days.

Dianna - posted on 09/03/2013

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Thanks so much Rebekah I appreciate it and I will look into that baby Einstein video. Thank you!

Tawanna - posted on 09/03/2013

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it could be that some of the signs are difficult for her to do. research baby sign language. if i can remember the website i'll let you know. we taught my daughter a few signs the only one she would do is "more"

Tawanna - posted on 09/03/2013

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ok, once she starts communicating, the outburst won't be as often. has anyone taught her sign language? you can teach her the basics, cup, juice milk etc. that would ease her frustrations of not being able to tell you what she wants/needs

Dianna - posted on 09/03/2013

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No she doesn't have equipment like that she can walk, run, and crawl... We're just having issues with her speech along with learning how to control her emotions and frustrations... They said problem solving/cognitive delay.

Tawanna - posted on 09/03/2013

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if you have any questions or need any ideas to help her developmentally, feel free to contact me anytime :) btw does she have any special equipment? (i.e. stander, walker, gait trainer etc.) i'm going to put up some pics later on this week of my daughter's sensory room to help with a few ideas.

Dianna - posted on 09/03/2013

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Any help would be greatly appreciated Tawanna thank you! And yes the program is also going to send referrals out to the school district in my area to get her into a developmental Pre-school. She turns 3 in March. And they just started services in August.

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