Stubborn potty trainee

Jaime - posted on 06/10/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




My son is 3 1/2 and absolutely refuses to be potty trained. No matter what we do and believe me we have tried everything, he wants nothing to do with it. I am frustrated beyond belief and I give up. I need some help here. I don't buy that when he's ready he'll do it...he does fine at daycare but refuses it at home. Its unacceptable for this to continue...any advise would be nice but I really need a solution.


Mom at her wits end


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Jennifer - posted on 06/10/2011




My third child was a bit stubborn. He was trained a couple months before his 3rd birthday, but was honestly ready a good 6months before that. He would go a couple days and be absolutely dry, then just not care anymore and go a month or two, then be interested again and do the same thing over and over. Finally I figured out how to make him care. He went into one of his days where he wanted to use the potty, so I put big boy underwear on him. 2 days later, he started having "accidents" again and I was getting sick of cleaning the floor. I had always given him 1 piece of fruit snack (his favorite candy) every time he used the potty, but decided to add that if he peed on the floor and I had to clean him and it up, I got to eat a fruit snack. He was so worried that I was going to eat all his fruit snacks, that he didn't have another accident for 2 months, and even that was my fault, because I didn't get him to the bathroom right away (we were out) and he had told me he needed to go.

April - posted on 06/10/2011




My son is 2 and half and was potty trained for almost 2 months when he did a complete back flip! I've followed JuLeah's suggestion and just refused to put diapers on him. He absolutely will not pee on the potty if he is already wearing a diaper. He pees just fine in the potty if he is wearing underwear, but I feel forced to use diapers because he keeps having poop accidents in his underwear. He usually does not mind peeing on the potty but it's flat out refusal to do poop. I am actually coming off a 3 week long break from forcing him to use the potty or wear underwear. He actually turns two and a half on the 22, so I made it my goal to start over again by that time. He was pretty young when he started back in February. We have our good days and bad days. I've played the role of strict parent and the role of "he'll do it when he's ready". I've decided that I need to mix up both roles! Strict as in no diapers but easy going as in don't get mad when he poops in his underwear for the 1,000th time.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that he will use the potty in a public place even if he is wearing a diaper. What's up with that? I wonder if that's the same as your son being more willing at daycare? I wonder if it is simply the expectation being removed? I know I don't like public restrooms, so I've never actually asked my son if he needs to use the potty in public. Maybe someone else has to do the training in your home? Maybe potty training is like breastfeeding babies who won't take the bottle if Mom is home? Maybe somehow we both need to step aside on this issue and let another family member take over ?

JuLeah - posted on 06/10/2011




well, he is getting something out of this, or he would not be doing it. It sounds like he gets a LOT of attention for refusing.
Have you attempted to ignore it. Back off. Take him out of diapers, simply refuse to have them in the house.

And, don't say a word to him about it.

Praise him if he used the pot and stays dry, but ignore him otherwise.

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