Suffering due to BIO father...PLEASE HELP (QLD)

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hey there everyone...I'm in need of help, support and or advice :/ I have a BEAUTIFUL little man who is 4 this December =) He is a sweet, kind loving little man and means everything to me =)...My son has Austim and was 2 1/2 months early and now towers over every child his age lol :) He doesn't talk much as yet due to the Autism but I have got the hang of his lingo lol =) Anyways, what it is that I need your help with is his father...His father and I had a very horrible relationship...I was abused physically, socially, emotionally, sexually etc My son has been abused by him also physically (lost four teeth due to this ='( ) and emotionally (not to mention subjecting my son to visually seeing me beaten constantly)... I finally got out and got my son out and away from him on Septemeber 30th last year...I got a DVO on him and won my case due to substantial evidence...He then took out an application for visitation through a mediation service (which I believe was just to hurt and still control my son and I in a way)... I attended this and he managed to recieve supervised visits every Saturday for 2 hours comencement date 14th April this year...Since that date he has seen him 4 times...When my son has to go (when his father doesn't cancel) he kicks, screams, cries, hides, punches, slaps etc so in other words makes it very obvious he doesn't want to go...It breaks my heart as I have to force him due to the stupid agreement as I am fearful that if I don't he will take me to court and the outcome will be worse off then the situation is now...I am very concerend about my baby boy's physcological and emotional state and trauma that is being inflicted upon him due to the agreement...My son doesn't really know his father as he wasn't always around...He had a tendency to spend weeks at a time away with other woman (his ex girlfriends) and his drinking buddies (which came to my attention after seperation), and when he was around it was nothing but abuse ( I thought I was in love so please don't judge)...He has only been to one of my son's birthdays and as I said is not making much of an effort now...I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I'm not sure what to do ='( I know there are great fathers out there and if my son's father was one of those men I wouldn't have an issue with visitations...Its just he isn't one of those men and due to the legislation my son is suffering...I am 20 years old and I am in the process of trying to get my career underway also so that my son will always have security and a stabalized life / home...His father still lives with his mother along with his new fiance and 2 half brothers...He doesn't want his own place so he doesn't even have room to have my son...My head is all over the place and I have no idea what to do / think...If someone could please maybe help me out in any way I would greatly appreciate it...Thank you for taking the time to read this...hope to hear from you soon ♥ xox


Jodi - posted on 06/21/2012




You could possibly talk to a lawyer about a court appointed psychologist assessing your son (as in, they may be able to go to one of these sessions and see the behaviour for themselves, and then try to either help find a solution or indicate what is in his best interests). While legislation DOES stipulate that a child has the right to know both parents, it isn't always in their best interests, and needs to be judged on a case by case basis. An unbiased psychological assessment may be able to help fix the problem, or it may mean more court action, but I can see this does need to be resolved somehow. I wish I had the answer for you.


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[deleted account]

Hey Jodi...

Thanks for your response...I really appreciate it...New update is that I haven't signed anything that is legally enforceable so I have spoken with 5 solicitors and its in my right to put a stop to these visits...which I have...I understand the legislation and I'm aware that it stipulates that a child has the right to know both this case unfortunately its not in my son's best interest...I have spoken to his father in an amicable manner requesting voluntary suspention of visitations until my son has a better understanding on whats going on as he is doing speech therapy so that this isn't so traumatic for him...The response I got was go f**ck yourself...I of course didn't respond to that and his father now just does his own thing anyway...hasn't submitted anything to the courts and doesn't show that he intends to...I was advised by one of my solicitors to just wait and see if he begins anything and see what amounts out of it more or less...So at the moment just taking each day as it comes and I have already seen how much happier my little man has become...♥ warms my heart ♥ =) xoxox

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