Summer time vacation ( Court order)

Maddy - posted on 06/05/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom of a 6 yr old and need advice on how i can state good reason for watching to change a 3 week summer vacation ( 2 consecutive) one extra) to a 2 or 3 weeks non consecutive vacation with father. Last summer he flew to with my son to see his parents and family and later that summer my son told me he nearly drowned. That daddy was not around and that his aunt saved him. I was shocked and angry. Yet due to many problems at that time I did not bring it up to court. Now the year has passed and he's asking to take him ( local ) again yet wont say exactly where. I am super stressed and anxious and think I may need to file an emergency motion. He wants him july 1- 15 and I know my son wont eat the same because many times he skips giving him lunch, my son comes constipated. He is also asthmatic so this concerns me too. He cares or him, yet not as vigilant as I am with him. After the beach incident I can't even think of letting him go that long. I need help please - my son needs to be with me more.


I will add that his father still sleeps with him ( same bed) even though I made him sign that no adult should sleep with him. that ne must have his own separate bed....and still he deviates from what he signed in court order.. He does not work and is former military. IChild support is just 280 a month and I need an increase too because that is nothing.

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Dove - posted on 06/05/2015

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At this point and time all you can do is suck it up and send him. If he has a court order giving him 2-3 weeks (July 1-15 is NOT 3 weeks)... that is what he gets. The only way to change it is through court and at this point you would likely not get a court date before the visitation anyway. If the near drowning experience caused you to think your child is being neglected... the time to bring it up was a year ago.

There is NOTHING in the world wrong w/ a 6 year old sleeping w/ a parent.

Put a smile on your face, send your son w/ his father, and pray for his safety and your peace.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/06/2015

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Well, if you had concerns about potential neglect, you should have brought it up a year ago. However, I also can see a side to this story that the child's aunt had supervision at the time (perhaps she'd taken him on an outing with is cousins), and, as the adult in the situation, appears to have been vigilant enough to avert a situation. Not knowing both sides, its hard to say whether any level of neglect occurred.
A 6 YO sleeping with a parent is not unusual. When we'd stay at my grandparents' house, I'd sleep with my dad, until I was around 7 or 8 and got a bed to myself. Trust me, in that household, improper behaviour was not tolerated...LOL.
As far as child support, the amount is set based on the income of the non-custodial parent. You can ask for a reassessment of support orders through your attorney.
At this point, the child's father having visitation from 1-15 of July is not even the 3 weeks mandated in your orders, so its best you adhere.

Maddy - posted on 06/05/2015

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Thank you so much. I would love for the aunt to say this, yet she is his sister and will never do that because it would not make him appear in a good light. She also lives far away. Thanks again!

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2015

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Firstly, child support and visitations are separate issues. If he's not earning much then he can't give you more support. You will need to bring it up with the child support agency near you if you want it changed.
In regards to the visitation: If you haven't done anything until now and only have the word of a 6yo then there's not much you can do. The visitation is court ordered and no court will take into account what a child says. You would need the Aunt to come forward and say what happened.
If you have proof of his deviation from the court orders then talk to your lawyer.

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