Super morbidly obese

Erika - posted on 10/15/2016 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My 21 year old is bedridden. She was 650 pounds the last time she was able to be weighed. Now, she just sleeps and eats. She dropped out of high school and smokes. I have always been pretty heavy mysel but never super morbidly obese. ( I'm around the 450 mark ) When she was growing up she was very lazy ate a lot and was very heavy. She was always very happy. When she was 16 years old around 450 pounds she broke a school chair. Everyone laughed. Hasn't left the house since. She refuses to change. She just wants to get bigger and bigger. I have 4 other kids and there all school aged. She eats till she passes out. Please help

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Jodi - posted on 10/29/2016

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Totally removed my doubts about her being a troll too. Totally trolling because this isn't even believable. In fact, you aren't even a parent if you say shit like that.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/29/2016

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Whatever. Your last post proved that you are either a troll, just an incredibly obtuse person.

Ev - posted on 10/16/2016

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Erika--You are also in the way of becoming diabetic too!!! Do you not see that everything you claim about your daughter is the same for you??

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Michelle - posted on 10/29/2016

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So you are wanting to kill your daughter so she could be a record holder one day. That's insane!
You will both die a horrible death if you don't get yourself together but you also need the mental help as well.
A huge appetite is NOT good, it's a slow way to die.

Dove - posted on 10/29/2016

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I was starting to wonder if you were a troll... You have now removed all doubt. Thanks.

Erika - posted on 10/29/2016

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She's hospitalized now. Her boyfriend was bringing fast food to her every day. They would fool around and she would eat about 20000 calories a day. When I was bathing her she stoped breathing. She was recorded between 900 and 1000 pounds. I started going to the gym last week and eating better. I think I might have lost 5 pounds. I think the hospital will want her to lose weight. But if she wants to be big let her. She always had a huge appetite and that's good. You know what I like her fat. She could one day be the record holder. She's still able to feed herself and she's happy. That's all that matters.

Jodi - posted on 10/16/2016

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Erika, to respond with "we only eat fast food once a week and I try to exercise" demonstrates a lack of understanding about what might be causing the obesity in your family. Firstly, it isn't always fast food that is the contributor, especially if you mostly eat home cooked meals. You need to be looking at portion size, the TYPES of food you are cooking (get rid of processed food and only eat fresh fruit and vegetables, and lean meats), watching your sugars and carbohydrates, and doing more than trying to exercise (at minimum you should be going for a good walk each day). I suspect that perhaps it would be beneficial for you to speak to professionals about the changes you can make in your lives - for BOTH of you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/16/2016

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Once you are out of denial, and start helping YOURSELF, your daughter may see the worth. Why should she make an effort when her mother is in complete denial about her own dangers?

You are not presenting a good example. At all.

Michelle - posted on 10/16/2016

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I just converted this to kilograms and that's over 200kg. That is morbidly obese!!! A healthy weight for a woman is around 60-80kg (depending on height of course).
If you are both that heavy and unhealthy, you shouldn't be having fast food at all. You also need to look at your portion sizes. Use smaller plates so you think you are still eating a plate full.
You need to see your doctor for yourself and your daughter. If you start to get yourself healthier then your daughter may want to change as well.

Dove - posted on 10/16/2016

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So you just posted to complain about your daughter, make excuses, and not actually help either of you? Carry on then.

Dove - posted on 10/16/2016

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On what planet is 450 pounds just a 'little' heavy? How tall are you? My dad is 5'10" and 200 pounds and he is overweight. Not obese, but he is what I would call a little heavy... and you weigh more than double that....

Why can't you see that the best way to help your daughter YEARS ago would have been to be taking care of yourself and setting a better example for her? She is an adult now and helping her is going to be extremely difficult because unless you can have her declared mentally incompetent you can not FORCE her to change. Sure, if she's really bedridden then you (or whoever is feeding her) is equally contributing to her demise, but if she doesn't want to change... she won't. If YOU change and start doing what it takes to get down to a healthy weight range she might decide it is worth it.

Your family needs professional help as soon as possible.

Casey - posted on 10/16/2016

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Dear Erika,
Your situation is a difficult one. As a mom you want the best for your children. The broken chair at school must have been the last straw for your daughter. I don't have too much advice or anything to give you. I just wanted to tell you not to give up. I lost 145 pounds 10 years ago and it is a real life changing experience. Don't give up.

Erika - posted on 10/16/2016

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Your right I should loose some weight, but it's her I'm worried about? The doctors said I'm alittle heavy, but there is nothing wrong with me. She is pre-diabetic and has a risk of death.

Michelle - posted on 10/15/2016

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I agree with the other ladies. You need to be looking after yourself as well.
You are morbidly obese and the sooner you acknowledge that the better everyone.
Go and see your doctor and get help for both of you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/15/2016

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The first thing you need to come to terms with is that you, yourself are morbidly obese, unless you are also almost seven feet tall! That is not to be mean, but to hopefully open your eyes!

Morbidly obese is being over 100 pounds OVER your ideal weight, and unless you are 7 feet tall, there is NO WAY your ideal weight for your height is 350 lbs!

Start a healthier lifestyle for yourself first. Let your daughter see how well you are doing, and encourage her to join you. By thinking that, at 450 lbs, you are just "pretty heavy...never morbidly obese", you are doing yourself a disservice. Surely you are a beautiful woman, so why would you not want to feel better, have more energy, and be healthier?

Our kids do what they see us do. They learn from our example, even as adults. You should have taken steps sooner to see to your health and that of your daughter. As she is now an adult, unless she is declared medically unfit, the most you can really do is change what kind of example you are giving her.

My son is large. He is 6'5" tall(still at least one growth spurt left, as he is 19) and he weighs 250. This is in the lower end of minor obesity, as his ideal weight would be around 240. He would be morbidly obese at 350, and grossly obese at 450!

Please, for your own health, start being healthier! Once she sees you can do it, she will hopefully follow.

Dove - posted on 10/15/2016

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You are both overly obese and unhealthy. I agree w/ Jodi... get both of you some help immediately. If she can not get out of bed she is going to need professionals coming to the house. This is something that should have been addressed long before 5 years ago... but from the time she was little.

Jennifer - posted on 10/15/2016

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This is just my opinion but everyone needs to practice better eating habits. I have changed my ways, because I was always in pain due to severe fibromyalgia, food was my friend. I noticed that my son was eating more but making the wrong choices as to what he should eat. After I began reaching for apples and grapes, he did too. It is not easy at all to change but it can be done. I would also get her some help, possibly someone to talk to including making sure she sees her PCP. Don't give into everything, she has to fight to get better. You cant do everything. Sometimes we have to give our kids tough love.

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2016

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Uh, yes you ARE morbidly obese. Exactly what did you expect when you are clearly not modelling healthy behaviours either?
You need to support your daughter in getting some medical help. And perhaps get some for yourself too. Start setting a positive example yourself - you could work on yourselves together.

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