Swearing and declaring in front of children

Mandy - posted on 07/05/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Please can someone help. My husband swears and declares in front of our children and at times uses the phrase " Im tired of f**** talking to you now!!!" This hurts me and I can see the hurt in my childs face when spoken to like this. Its breaking my kids and I do not know what to do about it

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User - posted on 07/05/2011

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Tell him you will not be spoken to in this way, if you have a girl she may grow up thinking it's okay for men to speak to ladies like this and a boy well you would be embarrased if he grew up speaking to a lady in this way. I have had this problem and I was very blunt 'don't speak to me like this anymore' and in general he doesn't. Just remember any threats you make, eg or i'll leave etc. you have to be ready to carry out. I just ignore my hubby till he speaks to me with respect.

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Mandy - posted on 07/05/2011

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Thank you I am going to try and talk to him about it. Need the luck...will keep you posted

Ella - posted on 07/05/2011

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I swear, but try not to do it directly. Try talk to him about it? Tell him that thekids feel hurt or it upsets them when he speaks to them that way and that those things can stick

Krista - posted on 07/05/2011

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It would be worthwhile to talk to him in a calm moment, when he's not angry. Say something like, "I'm worried about the kids. I know that they can be frustrating sometimes. Believe me, I know. But when you lose your temper and swear at them, I can see that it's very hurtful for them. Plus, the more they hear that, the more likely they are to use that language themselves. I'm hoping we can put our heads together to figure out a way to solve this problem."

Stay as calm as you can, and try to approach it as a problem that you need his help to solve -- men like fixing stuff, so if you present this as something for him to fix, he may be more receptive.

If that doesn't work, you may want to record him the next time he goes off on them like that. And in a calm moment, play him the tape, and just say, "I'm not going to say anything more than this -- is THIS how you want our kids to remember you?"

Good luck!

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